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How to Set Intentions that Energize You

We’ve all heard how crucial it is to set intentions, goals and targets.

Powerful goals electrify us. Clear intentions energize and pull us forward.

Without a clearcut intention, we’re reactive and don’t get around to doing the important things when we want them done. Instead, we spend our time fighting random fires.

Without clear intentions, anything might happen. And usually does.

Literally, intentions are like the steering wheel on your car. Their whole purpose is to give you control over where you’re going. But when setting intentions or goals, keep in mind that if you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.

Now, it’s good to have intentions at more than one level. When we get up into the more conceptual intentions, such as “I will contribute to the wellbeing of those around me,” these become like a mission statement.

But then, be sure you move on to decide specifically how you will go about implementing your mission in your daily life. Specifics are essential.

How — specifically — will you put your mission into action today? What will you actually DO about your highest intentions?

It’s important to set intentions for yourself because this is where the rubber meets the road.

Just say “I’m going to do this and this.” It should be nothing big and overpowering. Just some stuff you’re meaning to do or achieve short-term.

Be sure to write them down on paper. When you list them out, you can clearly look over your results afterward and check yourself.

At the end of today or this time next week, did you do what you said you’d do? Expressed like that, it’s clear that we’re building a kind of internal integrity check within ourselves.

When you’re first starting to build this new intention-setting skill (habit), it’s important not to pile on too much. Sure, it’s easy to get all excited about turning over a new leaf, but it’s essential that you start where you are NOW, not where you think you SHOULD be.

There are things that, from experience, you already know you can do. Set your intentions to do those things (plus perhaps a little bit more) and achieve them. Then, when you’re comfortable doing what you say you’ll do, then you can begin to stretch your intention muscles a little more.

But as in any new regimin, begin easy. Begin with what you can actually do. And only after you get comfortable with the intention-setting process should you start going for real growth. Patience – taking small, measured steps – is more than a virtue here. It’s the key to keeping yourself moving forward. (Notice I said patience, not procrastination.)

Attempt too much too soon, and the end result will be another round of demotivation and discouragement.

Instead, go about this logically and gradually: keep your eye on the level you want to reach next year, and let today’s effort take you 1/365th of the way there. Do this, and you’ll see real, measurable progress as well as achievements you’ll truly be proud of.

It’s all pretty simple stuff, really. Just training yourself to keep your word to yourself.

April 9, 2009 Posted by pongchan | motivation | , , , , , | No Comments Yet

2 Steps To Stay On Track

Are your goals set? Are you all geared up to get started on them? Have you established some ways to support your goals? What will ensure that you actually stay on your desired path?

It is easy to get off path. It is easy to get all wrapped in stuff in everyday life. You know what I mean? I know, I have been off track with my goals. When you do set goals and establish ways to get where you want to go, how do you stay on track?

When you have clear goals that you want to achieve, it is easier to set the steps to achieve them. It sounds easy. The fact is you will only take control of your goal when you “stop doing things” that you are doing. Look at your life right now? What does it look like? Did you get the steps done today to reach your goal? What you did today will show up later? How then do you stay on track? Here are 2 steps to stay on track towards your goals:

1. Hire a coach or mentor. This is one effective way to stay on track towards what you desire in life. The coach can guide you in the right path. They can tweak your game. There are all types of coaches for any goal from weight loses to relationships to business. Find the right one for you. If you can’t afford one report to someone that you trust. Have a significant other person serve as a coach. This will help ensure that you do what you are supposed to be doing to reach that goal. Most successful people have coaches. They have a coach that tweaks their game. I heard at one time that Oprah Winfrey had 7 coaches. Look how successful she is in her life. I don’t know all I know is that every millionaire I have meet had a coach.

2. Join people that have a goal similar towards yours. There are many organizations out in your own community. If you can’t find one in your area. Check online, there are all types. By surrounding your self with like-minded people can accelerate your steps towards your desire goal. This helps surround yourself with reinforcement on your goal. It holds you accountable.

Most people get off track on their goals at some point. When you find yourself off the track, ask yourself what I am doing right now? Is it towards or away from my desired goal? Once you start to take action on your top priorities, you will gain more confidence. You will have more time power. You will feel like you are walking on water.

November 20, 2008 Posted by pongchan | Time Management | , , , , , | No Comments Yet

Are You Afraid Of Success

It is well documented that many people fail to achieve their goals in life due to the phenomenon known as “fear of failure” but are you aware that a major factor that is often overlooked, is a state known as “fear of success”?

Fear of failure will lead many people into inertia – the inability to make decision or take action in case they receive rejection or negative outcomes. This mental state is fairky easy to identify and there are many tools in the personal development industry to help combat this plague and reprogram the mind for success. However, the fear of success is much more subtle, harder to spot and also harder to eradicate.

Perhaps you have this tendency in your life. Here are some indications of a fear of success mentality.

Studying and trying to implement self-improvement techniques and/or personal development tools but your life does not improve or may even get worse.

You settle for less than you feel you deserve or are capable of achieving.

You start new projects full of enthusiasm and optimism but wane in your efforts or stop short before you have completed them.

You expect things to go wrong no matter how well the situation appears to be at the moment.

Can you identify your own patterns in the any of the above statements?

The fear of success can also make you behave in ways that hold you back. Look at the list below. These are ethe symptoms of the fear of success.

Procrastination – putting off what needs to be done or not doing what you know will bring you closer to your desired result. Everyone suffers from this inner ‘demon’ at some point in their lives (although some of us suffer from it more than others!).

Procrastination is a ’success killer’! How can ou expect to reach your destinationm if you do not take steps towards it? Strive to do little things each day that will bring you small steps closer to your goal. This is why having a personal development plan is an essential ingredient in the fight against procrastination. Take action! Any action! Refine your steps as you go along but do not sit and do nothing. Taking action is one of the key aspects in personal development.

Can’t see the forest for the trees! – this is almost the opposite of procrastination but has the same effect on your personal development. The aforementioned saying is well known but have you ever given it real consideration?

Don’t get caught up in your plan believing that it is more important than the materialised goal! For many years I got caught in this trap. I started to think and act as though my plan was more important than my end result and thus missed many opportunities to alter my path and reach my goals more quickly! Let go of your ego and allow the Universe to show you a quicker route to your goal. Remain flexible.

Thinking that the time is not right – have you ever waited until the timing was perfect before starting a venture? Have you ever waited until you had more information on a better plan?

Again ACTION is the key to the door to success. Taking small steps forward are better than taking none or waiting to see if your foot is landing on the right spot! Even if your actions take you away from your goal you have at least gained insight and knowledge about what does not work!

Being a perfectionist – this is similar to the point above and has the same effect, namely, that you never really move forward. No matter how good a job is when its finished it can always be improved! I have heard many great musicians tell how they hate listening to their own songs because they can find a million things that need improved. Yet, we still enjoy them. I think a classic example of this is “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Paul Simon. This song is hauntingly beautiful yet Mr. Simon does not think its good enough!

Seeing only problems – how do you use your focus? Do you constantly see only and alll the problems involved? If you are this way inclined it is pointless trying to change overnight! However, you can use this mindset to your advantage while you strive in your personal development to acquire an opportunistic frame of mind instead.

“How can you use seeing only problems to my advantage?” you say. “Easily”, is my reply! Look at the problems and prepare a plan to deal with them. Everytime you overcome one congratulate yourself. Use them as a gauge for your achievements. If you keep seeing more problems remind yourself of how well you dealt with the others. Look at how far you have come! If you see a problem ask yourself, “how best can I overcome this challenge?” or “how quickly can I rectify this situation?”. The quality of your questions are important as I have outlined in a previous article. Use the problems as fact finders. Is there a real problem now? If so then deal with it. Is it a potential problem? If so then create a contingency plan in case it does occur but don’t get caught up in it just be prepared.

Enjoy the journey, follow the above guidelines and you will achieve success. Eventually your fear of success will dissipate and you will have moved a long way forward in your personal development.

November 17, 2008 Posted by pongchan | success | , , , | No Comments Yet

Talk Yourself To Success

There are many things that drive people to success, and a key factor is what is known as ‘internal dialogue’. This is the dialogue that is constantly playing inside your head. It’s the voice that starts talking as soon as you do something, meet someone, or think about anything.

In many cases, this voice can be destructive and knock you down, though it is possible to quite easily harness his internal dialogue and use it to propel you to the success you desire and deserve.

You may notice that on occasion the voice is negative in what it says. For example, you see something you really want to buy and it says, “You can’t afford that.” Or you see someone you are really attracted to and the voice says, “They’re way out of your league, they’ll never go for someone like you.”

Quite obviously, this does nothing to make you life any better. Therefore, why not change the content of the voice? When it says something negative, counter it with a positive suggestion. For example, when the voice says, “You can’t afford that.” Respond mentally in a firm and positive voice with something like, “How can I afford it?” A question that empowers you and propels you into positive action.

This may take some time, and you may notice initially you do not always catch the voice and correct it. However, keep it up and before you know it, you will have changed the negative dialogue into a positive, empowering one.

You can also change the tone of the voice. What would happen if instead of the usual tone of voice saying, “I can’t afford it” you hear the voice of Homer Simpson, or Donald Duck, or any comic character saying it? You certainly wouldn’t listen to the voice and take it seriously, you would laugh at it and it’s power over you would be broken.

This technique can be extended to helping you motivate yourself to do something. When faced with the washing up, what do you hear in your head? Do you hear a whiney voice saying something like, “You really ought to do the washing up or you’ll get into trouble” or a commanding and scary voice saying, “Wash up NOW!”?

What would happen if the voice were a soft and really seductive voice speaking in your head? The sort of voice that gives you shivers down your back. What if it said something like, “Let’s do the washing up big boy.”? How would that motivate you?

Stephen King, the author, uses this technique with his writing. When he has to write he hears this very loud and powerful voice shouting at him as if through a megaphone saying something like, “WRITE NOW!!!!!” It almost scares him in to writing.

However, you don’t need to scare yourself into action. You can change your internal dialogue to be anything you want; whatever works best for you to motivate you and help you to get where you want to be.

Listen to your internal dialogue and play with changing the tonality, volume and tempo to find the type of voice that works best for you. Create a number of different types of voices, one for motivation, one to stop you doing things, one to make you feel loved, one to make you feel happy and so on.

Mastering your internal dialogue is a major key in mastering your life.

November 14, 2008 Posted by pongchan | success | , , , , , , , , | No Comments Yet

How to Conquer Intimidating Goals

“Oh that would be too hard for me — I could never learn to do that.”

We’ve all heard these words… you may even have said them yourself. Tackling new skills can feel intimidating. But we only feel intimidated because we overestimate the task and underestimate our own abilities. We aren’t confident enough in our natural abilities. Take learning to drive for example.

Today, millions of very mentally un-gifted people got into automobiles and drove them. And most of them had no accident today. So how hard can it be?

Or maybe you’re thinking of writing a book. Millions of people every year write books.

Millions more
save money
start businesses
find jobs
lose weight
get into shape
discover someone to love
get married
find a way to attend school
start new careers

And many other things you may have been thinking are too hard, too complicated, too far beyond you.

The truth is, they’re not beyond you at all.

DO THIS:
========

What have you been holding yourself back from doing? No, you don’t have to list EVERYTHING you’re putting off. Just take the top one.

First:
======

Whatever it is, write it down on a piece of paper.

Second:
=======

Now think of somebody who isn’t particulary smart, but who is now doing the very thing you want to do.

Been putting off learning to drive? Look at all the idiots on the road who somehow manage to get from here to there without wrecking the countryside.

What about marriage? True, most people botch it completely, but many millions actually do get it right and live in happiness.

Or maybe you’re putting off starting your own business. Same thing — you’ve met people barely clever enough to get in out of the rain, but they have businesses. And they haven’t gone bankrupt — at least not yet.

Chances are, the one thing you’re lacking is not intelligence, nor ability, nor talent. Training is no real stumbling block, either, since people regularly go get the same training you’re wanting.

No, you’re probably only lacking permission. You’re waiting around for somebody to validate you, then pick you up and prove to you that you can do it.

It ain’t gonna happen that way. The good news is, it doesn’t HAVE to happen that way.

All it takes is just deciding you’ll do it. Then just begin.

Several years ago someone told me a great two-step formula for success in any field.

Step one is start; step two is don’t stop.

So we come to…

Third:
======

Make a beginning, no matter how awkward, then just keep moving forward in the direction you want to go.

Honestly, it’s just about that simple.

While great intelligence can make things simpler, it can also make things much more difficult if you never learn to use it FOR yourself instead of against.

Please notice that beginnings are almost always awkward. That’s okay. Give yourself permission to be a beginner when you begin. And if you feel a compulsion to be perfect, then just be a perfect beginner.

But do keep moving… forward.

November 14, 2008 Posted by pongchan | motivation | , , , | No Comments Yet

Releasing Relationship Pain

Often times when a relationship ends there are things left unsaid and questions left unanswered. Through the use of this technique you can resolve these issues and allow yourself to move on and let go of the past. This technique can also be used with those that are now deceased.

Sit yourself in a quiet space where you will not be disturbed. Ideally have an empty chair or seat opposite you. Close your eyes for a moment, and take a few deep breaths and allow yourself to relax and let go.

When you open your eyes imagine that you can see the person with whom things are left unsaid sitting opposite you. All you need to do is to pretend they are there, so if you think you are having problems visualising just pretend.

Say to the person whatever is on your mind, whatever you want to release. If there is a situation that you want to resolve, for example the break down of a relationship then talk about that.

When you have finished you may want a response from them. If so then go and sit in the other chair and pretend you are them answering back. Keep your mind focussed on what was said when you do and allow the answer to flow. Remember that if you consciously say what you want to hear rather than what you really hear you are only cheating yourself, no one else.

When they have finished speaking, sit back in your original chair.

Keep up the conversation, moving from chair to chair assuming the other person’s persona when in their chair until the conversation comes to an end. Then return to your original chair and thank them for their time before going about your business.

This technique is incredible valuable for letting go of pain, guilt and hurt from any sort of relationship, not just romantic relationships. Often when performing this technique you will be surprised by the answers that you receive from the other person.

You can engage your sub-conscious in releasing the past through the Releasing Emotional Blocks Audio CD and the Karmic Cleansing program.

November 14, 2008 Posted by pongchan | Grief | , , , , , , , , | No Comments Yet

Does Your Life Lack Meaning?

Vera sought out counseling with me because her doctor advised her to discover the emotional causes of her chronic fatigue. Vera, a successful stockbroker, was in a loving 18-year marriage. On the surface, everything in her life was fine. She had enough money, friends, and a good relationship. Yet Vera awoke each morning battling fatigue and depression.

David sought my help because of chronic feelings of inner emptiness. David is very successful in his manufacturing business, has a good marriage and two adult children. Like Vera, everything seemed fine. Yet the feelings of inner emptiness drove David to overeat, overspend, and indulge in porno on the Internet.

While both Vera and David were successful in their careers, neither loved their work. They worked to make money, but their work had little meaning for them. Yet when they looked inside, neither could discover what did have meaning for them. Both reported that they had never experienced a sense of meaning in their adult lives, and that the emptiness and depression had been with them since adolescence.

As I worked with Vera and David, it became evident that each had made a decision early in their lives to shut down their feelings to avoid the deep pain of unbearable loneliness. Vera shut down because she was unable to tolerate the loneliness of her mother’s behavior toward her. Her mother would say she loved Vera, but Vera never felt her love. Instead, she felt her mother energetically pulling at her, trying to suck the life out of her. As a very sensitive child, Vera could not tolerate this confusing experience, so she put her feelings in a box and decided to live out of her head instead of her gut.

David, also a very sensitive child, shut down because he was unable to tolerate the loneliness of being with two emotionally unavailable empty parents, and the loneliness of rejection from peers.

As adults, both Vera and David were still shut down from their feelings. They were still afraid of feeling the pain of loneliness – a feeling that is actually an everyday fact of life. Loneliness is present when your heart is closed or another’s heart is closed, or when there is no one with whom to share love. Loneliness is the primary feeling when we want to connect with another and the other is unavailable. If you were completely open to your feelings, you would feel moments of loneliness throughout the day. However, most people never feel this feeling and are completely unaware of it, because the moment there is a twinge of emotional pain, they move instantly to various addictions and addictive behaviors, such as substances, activities, thoughts, shame and blame. Yet when we shut out pain, we also shut out joy and a passionate sense of purpose.

Pain and joy are in the same box. Vera and David could not discover what has meaning for them and what brings them joy while keeping a lid on their feelings. And the very act of keeping a lid on their feelings was creating their depression and inner emptiness.

Imagine that your feelings are a child within. If you ignore this child – by ignoring your feelings – this child feels abandoned. Our refusal to feel and take responsibility for our own pain is an inner abandonment and results in anxiety, depression, and/or inner emptiness.

It is our child within – our feeling self – that has the blueprint for what has meaning for us, for our passion and purpose. Each of us comes to this planet with a deep purpose to express, and when we don’t express this purpose, we end up feeling empty and depressed. Yet we cannot discover this purpose when we keep a lid on our feelings.

Learning to manage the pain of loneliness is essential to discovering your passion and purpose. There is no way of managing loneliness without a deep and personal connection to a spiritual source of love and wisdom. We cannot manage loneliness from our mind alone.

You will find deep meaning in your life when you decide to open to and learn from your feelings of loneliness rather than continue to shut them down. And you will open to these feelings only when you do not feel alone inside due to experiencing the love and wisdom of your spiritual Guidance. Opening to Divine Love and opening to your feelings will bring you the fullness, joy, passion and purpose that are the yearnings of your soul.

November 8, 2008 Posted by pongchan | motivation | , , , | No Comments Yet

Create Anything You Want With These 7 Secrets To Goal-Setting

Why is it that some people set goals and give up on them while others set goals and achieve them with amazing ease? The answer almost certainly lies in applying the following 7 secrets of goal-setting.

<b>1. Start With Your Strengths. </b>Although you can base your goals on anything you want, your chances of success are greater if, first, you base them on your strengths and second, on the current opportunities in your field. To find out your strengths, do some self-research, such as a personal SWOT: your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats.

<b>2. Put Your Goals In Writing. </b>Written goals have a way of transforming wishes into wants, can’ts into cans, dreams into plans and plans into reality. The act of writing clarifies your goals and provides you with a way to check your progress. You can even add reasons to give you more motivation. So don’t just think it – ink it!

<b>3. Dream Big. </b>One of the factors that restricts the realisation of our full potential is the belief that we shouldn’t go for big goals. Yet all the evidence of those who realize big goals is that we can always achieve far more than we think. David Schwartz says in his book “The Magic of Thinking Big”: “Big goals attract big resources like a magnet.”

<b>4. Pitch Each Goal. </b>Once you have set your ultimate goal, you then need to set the intermediate goals that will get you where you want. Don’t pitch these too easily or too ambitiously or they will drop into the Drop Zone. Aim to make them challenging: out of reach, but not out of sight.

<b>5. Express Them Right. </b>It’s important to express your goals in the right way.
• never express your goal in terms of what you don’t want; always in terms of what you do want
• express your goals in performance terms not reward terms
• express your goals in terms of how others benefit
• express your goals according to the principles which matter.

<b>6. Set Goals In Terms of Behaviour. </b>When we set goals for ourselves, they should be expressed in behavioural terms, rather than in terms of status, rewards or position. That’s because behaviour is something within our power, while status, rewards and position are not. Formulating goals in behavioural terms also means we present a strong positive image of ourselves to our brains. The brain, not knowing the difference between a real or imagined experience, then seeks to act in accordance with the presented image.

<b>7. Pursue Your Goals With Passion. </b>The driving force behind your goal-achievement is Desire. You must desire your goals constantly, vividly and with a burning passion. If you do, you cannot fail to achieve them. It was said of Michaelangelo that he could blot out every distraction while working on a project such as the statue of David, until it was completed.

When you pursue your goals with these 7 habits, you’ll be amazed at how quickly they manifest themselves and how much more enjoyable the process becomes.

November 8, 2008 Posted by pongchan | Goal Setting | , , , , , , , , , | No Comments Yet