Anything that’s worth doing, is worth doing Poorly

Yes you got it. You read it correctly. We’re not out of our minds. We really are saying that “anything that’s worth doing is worth doing poorly”. When we found this quote by Joachim DePosada on the web site: The Gary Halbert Letter, it struck such a huge cord. It made such immediate sense to us. The more we looked the more we realised that our lives were built around this quote. What about yours?

Just take your mind back to when you started to learn to drive. That very first time, you pressed your foot down on the throttle. The engine screamed. You lifted your left foot off the clutch with such panache, and you hurled forward with such velocity, you would have beaten any kangaroo.

Can you drive now? Then we rest our case:

Anything that’s worth doing, is worth doing poorly.

Do you remember the first time you played tennis? Did you really get the serve right first time? Or did you carefully throw the ball in the air throw the racket and miss!!! What about now? Was it worth doing it poorly the first time around?

What happened the first time you strode up with your bucket of balls on the driving range? You put the ball down and swung perfectly and hit it for what 500 yards?????? Or, did you:
1. miss it completely,
2. follow through and fall over
3. take out a good portion of the matting or grass with the shot
4. hit it with such force it managed a few yards and stopped.

What is all this about?

Reminding yourself that;

Whenever you do something you haven’t done before.
Whenever, you make effort to break an old habit.
Whenever you are going to do something that is worth doing.

The odds are you are going to make a hash of it. Don’t give in. You are normal. Don’t listen to that critical voice inside your head that says, “It’s no good. I can’t do it. I will never, ever try again”.

Listen instead to the powerful, self confirming voice that says,
“It’s OK. Remember. Anything that’s worth doing, is worth doing poorly”
And laugh and keep going.

So, whether your aim is to give up smoking… diet….. stop drinking……..change your job, learn a language, build a business, whatever it is, accept that you are going to do it poorly at first. Then gradually with practice you will get better and better.

It takes effort to improve yourself. It takes effort to become the best sales person in town. It takes effort to build a successful business. It takes effort to lose weight. It takes effort to follow your dream.

But. If you want to improve yourself! ……..If you want to learn a new skill…….. There is only one way to start………..Overcome your need to be right first time and keep practicing.

So whatever you want to do. Whatever you dream of being! Whatever you see yourself doing in five years time. It all starts with making a fool of yourself now. So you might as well get on with it. Go on, go for your dream!

Remember:
Anything that’s worth doing, is worth doing poorly.

Good luck

Graham and Julie.
www.desktop-meditation.com

Anything is Possible

The other day I was reading a very interesting article concerning a shark attack that occurred way back in 1916. It played off along the North East coast of the U.S. and concerned a great white shark, that had been had been terrorizing the New Jersey beaches.

Now everybody knows and accepts that a shark is a creature of the sea and needs salty water to survive. Therefore nobody thought that a shark may attack them in freshwater, but that is exactly what happened later that year.

This particular shark remained close to the shore and eventually swam up a river stream around Raritan Bay, attacking a couple of bathers upstream.

Shortly before the attacks occurred, a retired Sea captain, by the name of Thomas Cottrell saw this shark swimming upstream while crossing a bridge. He couldn’t believe his eyes, but nevertheless got into his boat and raised the alarm. Not surprisingly nobody believed him. “A shark in a river? C’mon, get real, It’s not possible.”

But you know what? As incredible as it seemed there was a shark in the river and all those who didn’t heed the warnings were in danger of being attacked.

Eventually this shark killed two people. The first victim was a teenager who may or may not have heard Cottrell’s warning. Shortly after this attack another man jumped in the water to look for the victim, even though he was told there is a shark in the water. He too was attacked and died from a severe loss of blood.

While reading this I couldn’t help thinking about September 11 and see the parallels between these two stories.

When asked by the U.S. Congress and the media, why “clues” which should have been picked up were disregarded, the heads of the FBI and CIA as well as members of the Bush administration replied, “We didn’t think they would use airplanes as missiles.”

Had the FBI and CIA believed that something like what happened on 9/11 was possible they might have put measures into place which would likely have prevented this from happening. But they didn’t, even though the hijackers left dozens of “clues.”

Similarly if the swimmers at the US East Coast had believed Captain Cottrell when he told them there was a shark in the river, chances are that nobody would have been killed by this shark on that day.

But because they believed it is “impossible” for a shark to be found in freshwater they disregarded the warning altogether, just as the US law enforcement agencies did, resulting in many paying with their lives.

On the other hand there are human beings who overcame extraordinary odds and accomplished great feats. Everyday we hear stories of people who were told by the so-called “experts” they didn’t have what it took, yet made it regardless.

The lesson here is that anything is possible, both the good and the bad. By believing or not believing in something doesn’t mean you will not be affected by whatever happens. But it means that based on what you believe, you may take some action which may save you from something terrible or may get you out of a terrible situation.

There are many of us who are in terrible situations, including poverty, unhappiness, debt, etc. Those of us who have changed their situation, did it because they believed they could make it.

Those who don’t obviously don’t believe that they can change their situation otherwise they would have done something about it, right?

How many opportunities have you missed just because you thought it wouldn’t work or wasn’t possible. Just think what you could do if you believed that you could do anything, even realise your dreams?

What great talent do you have which you have done nothing about, because you probably believed you can’t do it.

I hope to have shown you through this short article that anything is possible. And that by just believing, “I Can,” your battle is already half-won.

Are You Afraid Of Success

It is well documented that many people fail to achieve their goals in life due to the phenomenon known as “fear of failure” but are you aware that a major factor that is often overlooked, is a state known as “fear of success”?

Fear of failure will lead many people into inertia – the inability to make decision or take action in case they receive rejection or negative outcomes. This mental state is fairky easy to identify and there are many tools in the personal development industry to help combat this plague and reprogram the mind for success. However, the fear of success is much more subtle, harder to spot and also harder to eradicate.

Perhaps you have this tendency in your life. Here are some indications of a fear of success mentality.

Studying and trying to implement self-improvement techniques and/or personal development tools but your life does not improve or may even get worse.

You settle for less than you feel you deserve or are capable of achieving.

You start new projects full of enthusiasm and optimism but wane in your efforts or stop short before you have completed them.

You expect things to go wrong no matter how well the situation appears to be at the moment.

Can you identify your own patterns in the any of the above statements?

The fear of success can also make you behave in ways that hold you back. Look at the list below. These are ethe symptoms of the fear of success.

Procrastination – putting off what needs to be done or not doing what you know will bring you closer to your desired result. Everyone suffers from this inner ‘demon’ at some point in their lives (although some of us suffer from it more than others!).

Procrastination is a ’success killer’! How can ou expect to reach your destinationm if you do not take steps towards it? Strive to do little things each day that will bring you small steps closer to your goal. This is why having a personal development plan is an essential ingredient in the fight against procrastination. Take action! Any action! Refine your steps as you go along but do not sit and do nothing. Taking action is one of the key aspects in personal development.

Can’t see the forest for the trees! – this is almost the opposite of procrastination but has the same effect on your personal development. The aforementioned saying is well known but have you ever given it real consideration?

Don’t get caught up in your plan believing that it is more important than the materialised goal! For many years I got caught in this trap. I started to think and act as though my plan was more important than my end result and thus missed many opportunities to alter my path and reach my goals more quickly! Let go of your ego and allow the Universe to show you a quicker route to your goal. Remain flexible.

Thinking that the time is not right – have you ever waited until the timing was perfect before starting a venture? Have you ever waited until you had more information on a better plan?

Again ACTION is the key to the door to success. Taking small steps forward are better than taking none or waiting to see if your foot is landing on the right spot! Even if your actions take you away from your goal you have at least gained insight and knowledge about what does not work!

Being a perfectionist – this is similar to the point above and has the same effect, namely, that you never really move forward. No matter how good a job is when its finished it can always be improved! I have heard many great musicians tell how they hate listening to their own songs because they can find a million things that need improved. Yet, we still enjoy them. I think a classic example of this is “Bridge Over Troubled Water” by Paul Simon. This song is hauntingly beautiful yet Mr. Simon does not think its good enough!

Seeing only problems – how do you use your focus? Do you constantly see only and alll the problems involved? If you are this way inclined it is pointless trying to change overnight! However, you can use this mindset to your advantage while you strive in your personal development to acquire an opportunistic frame of mind instead.

“How can you use seeing only problems to my advantage?” you say. “Easily”, is my reply! Look at the problems and prepare a plan to deal with them. Everytime you overcome one congratulate yourself. Use them as a gauge for your achievements. If you keep seeing more problems remind yourself of how well you dealt with the others. Look at how far you have come! If you see a problem ask yourself, “how best can I overcome this challenge?” or “how quickly can I rectify this situation?”. The quality of your questions are important as I have outlined in a previous article. Use the problems as fact finders. Is there a real problem now? If so then deal with it. Is it a potential problem? If so then create a contingency plan in case it does occur but don’t get caught up in it just be prepared.

Enjoy the journey, follow the above guidelines and you will achieve success. Eventually your fear of success will dissipate and you will have moved a long way forward in your personal development.

Talk Yourself To Success

There are many things that drive people to success, and a key factor is what is known as ‘internal dialogue’. This is the dialogue that is constantly playing inside your head. It’s the voice that starts talking as soon as you do something, meet someone, or think about anything.

In many cases, this voice can be destructive and knock you down, though it is possible to quite easily harness his internal dialogue and use it to propel you to the success you desire and deserve.

You may notice that on occasion the voice is negative in what it says. For example, you see something you really want to buy and it says, “You can’t afford that.” Or you see someone you are really attracted to and the voice says, “They’re way out of your league, they’ll never go for someone like you.”

Quite obviously, this does nothing to make you life any better. Therefore, why not change the content of the voice? When it says something negative, counter it with a positive suggestion. For example, when the voice says, “You can’t afford that.” Respond mentally in a firm and positive voice with something like, “How can I afford it?” A question that empowers you and propels you into positive action.

This may take some time, and you may notice initially you do not always catch the voice and correct it. However, keep it up and before you know it, you will have changed the negative dialogue into a positive, empowering one.

You can also change the tone of the voice. What would happen if instead of the usual tone of voice saying, “I can’t afford it” you hear the voice of Homer Simpson, or Donald Duck, or any comic character saying it? You certainly wouldn’t listen to the voice and take it seriously, you would laugh at it and it’s power over you would be broken.

This technique can be extended to helping you motivate yourself to do something. When faced with the washing up, what do you hear in your head? Do you hear a whiney voice saying something like, “You really ought to do the washing up or you’ll get into trouble” or a commanding and scary voice saying, “Wash up NOW!”?

What would happen if the voice were a soft and really seductive voice speaking in your head? The sort of voice that gives you shivers down your back. What if it said something like, “Let’s do the washing up big boy.”? How would that motivate you?

Stephen King, the author, uses this technique with his writing. When he has to write he hears this very loud and powerful voice shouting at him as if through a megaphone saying something like, “WRITE NOW!!!!!” It almost scares him in to writing.

However, you don’t need to scare yourself into action. You can change your internal dialogue to be anything you want; whatever works best for you to motivate you and help you to get where you want to be.

Listen to your internal dialogue and play with changing the tonality, volume and tempo to find the type of voice that works best for you. Create a number of different types of voices, one for motivation, one to stop you doing things, one to make you feel loved, one to make you feel happy and so on.

Mastering your internal dialogue is a major key in mastering your life.

How To Know Whether You Will Be Successful Or Not?!

Did you know that… you can instantly know whether you will be successful or not?

All of us want to be successful, but there is a big difference between what we want and what we have.

Today, I will give you the clue to know whether what you are doing now in your life will lead you to a successful future or not.

You will not be anymore moving around without confidence in what your future will be. You will know without any doubt whether you are on the right track or you are moving towards a disappointing future.

Here is the secret revealed by Michael Korda: “Your chances of success are directly proportional to the degree of pleasure you derive from what you do.”

Yes, your success in life is measured by the degree of pleasure you are experiencing with what you are doing.

No real success can be achieved without loving what you do. You can only really excel when you love what you do, you can’t achieve maximum performance until you love what you do, and you will not have enough motivation to persist on your goals without loving what you do.

If you hate what you do now, whatever it is, then you have very low chances of success.

Just think of it.

I know that you may tell me, “What can I do? I am in a college that I hate but must finish?” or “I have a job that I can’t leave due to a lot of responsibilities; especially financial ones”

I agree with all of that and will not tell you to go now and leave what you are doing whatever it is because you will not be successful at the end.

What I want to tell you is that you must be on a path where you love what you do. And to do that you have to start now to define your life purpose.

Defining your life purpose is the first step towards a satisfactory and successful life. You have to know the path that will let you live with passion and make a difference to other people’s life.

When you discover your life purpose you will have the power to do little changes, one at a time, until you are aligned with the right direction; the direction of your life purpose and your ultimate destiny.

You will not change your path in a night. But you can start now under your current situation doing the necessary preparation and doing very small changes that will build up and at a certain time with another small change you will be on the right track.

Here is the secret again “Your chances of success are directly proportional to the degree of pleasure you derive from what you do.”

Past is past. Search for your life purpose now to survive your future and live with passion.

Don’t you agree with me that you will only succeed when you do what you love?

My friend you can make a difference.

I believe in you.

Developing the “Both and” Mindset

Clients often share a situation or challenge with me and as their consultant they ask me to advise them on a course of action. Often during the conversation, the Client will identify two distinctly different courses of action – that may at first seem to be in opposition. The question is basically formatted as an “either or” question – “Should I do A or B?”

Often, my answer is “yes.” After getting a confused look, I explain that the answer lies not in one or the other of the alternatives, but in exploring and doing both. This is what I call “both and” thinking. Collins and Porras in their book Built to Last call it “avoiding the Tyranny of the OR, and embracing the Genius of AND.”

“Either or” thinking is pervasive in our world. Let’s take the example of the common phrase, “black or white.” When we think of black or white, we often try to balance by looking for the “shades of gray” – thinking that in balance or compromise we will find the right solution. This is seldom the most valuable approach. My suggestion is to consider black and white.

That “either or” solution inevitably leads to suboptimal solutions, and under satisfying compromises. Balance is not found in some murky middle ground, but rather by dedicating our focus to both ends of the spectrum.

Black and white.

We can take this concept beyond the philosophical and find specific ways to use “both and” thinking in all parts of our lives. Below is a list of 10 “both and” combinations that will make you a better leader of yourself and others.

Strengths and weaknesses. What we receive feedback, we typically focus on our weaknesses and work to improve in those areas. This is fine, but if all of our effort is focused here, and none is focused on valuing and strengthening our strengths, we are not investing our time and effort in the most effective way. Are there weaknesses to improve? Of course there are. But think too of your strengths and build those.

Timeless and new. New ideas are seductive, and we must be mindful of and willing to move forward with new ideas. But we can’t focus on the new without a bedrock of timeless principles to guide us. History does repeat itself, so when we find the timeless principles in the new ideas; we will gain even greater clarity and create greater progress.

Expert and novice. Have a problem to solve? Consider having an expert help you think it through. Consider also bringing someone in with no prior knowledge or preconceived ideas about the situation. Expert and novice. Both bring value to a problem solving challenge or innovation opportunity.

Inform and listen. Great communicators do more than inform. They also listen. Great communicators are not great because they can do one or the other of these exceptionally well, but because they can do both exceptionally well.

Demanding and supportive. As a leader of ourselves or others we need to be demanding and tough because clear expectations are important and motivating. Results are needed. However, if we drive for the results without supporting people and their feelings, ultimately people won’t reach their true potential.

Goals and serendipity. To succeed at the highest levels we must have a target in mind, a vision, a goal. The most successful people have clear goals and continue to listen for the knock of opportunity. They value the serendipitous moment and meeting, and recognize that in those moments their goals might be adjusted reprioritized or otherwise change. Simply leaving our lives to serendipity will not create the greatest results. Conversely, remaining it rigidly goal focused, may preclude us from seeing many great opportunities.

Task and process. The work must be done – the task is important. However, thinking of the process, the flow, and how the work is done is equally important. If we solely focus on getting out the work we’ll miss opportunities to improve the process and make it easier, more productive and more enjoyable. On the other hand, if we spend all of our time planning the process, we will never get results. Maintain both a task and process focus.

Strategy and tactics. We must plan. Strategy is important. But we also must take action. Tactics are imperative. The most successful people and leaders value strategy in the context of actionable tactics that moved them towards those strategic ideals.

Customer focus and employee focus. Some organizations feel that the Customer is always right and all work should be done in service for the Customer. Others feel that if they treat their employees right, the Customers will ultimately be satisfied. These are not diametrically opposed ideas. Clearly, Customers and employees are the two most valuable assets any business holds. Focus on them both.

Individual and team. Individual talent, performance and productivity are critical; however individual success cannot trump synergistic collaboration. Work on building individual skills, and empower educate and support teams as well.

I could add to this list, but hopefully you already see the wisdom of “both and” thinking. Chances are, as you begin to value and create this mindset for yourself, you will find more and more of these combinations that you can apply.

The “both and” mindset will help you become more successful and paradoxically create greater clarity and balance in your life. Take the time to think about and nurture this mindset today.

Are You Living The Successful Life You Want Or Something Else?

Copyright 2006 John Halderman

Have you wondered why you continue with life as usual, even though you are not experiencing enough happiness, and you know you want things to be different?

Your full happiness and satisfaction with life is largely based on the natural expression of yourself.

That’s great you say, so why does it seem so hard to set up my life to fully express myself the way I really want?

There are some also very natural and normal aspects of you that tend to block change. We all have the ability to change, as we desire, it’s just that we succumb to the ‘forces’ within us that seem to want things to stay as they are.

A large reason for being stuck in place, suffering from anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and stress is that you do not fully understand what you are up against and how to deal with it.

Here are some of the main factors keeping you where you are.

1. Already A Success

First we need to establish that you actually are completely successful right now whether you feel like it or not. You are always successful at living; your current life experience is clear evidence of this.

Your life experience is the result of your thoughts and actions, and you are actually always thinking and doing something. Even if you call it nothing!

And every thought and action has a result, an outcome that is its evidence.

The question is, are you totally successful at the life you really want?

If not, how can you be?

The key here is to discover new thinking and behaviors that provide the outcomes you want, and replace them for what you are doing now.

You can read about what could produce the results you want, but one of the most effective ways is to model what has proven to work for others.

2. Blocking Change

Another important point to clarify is this; everything that exists is always in motion, constantly changing, and this should include you and I. But we seem to want the opposite, for everything to remain as much that same as possible.

Plus, there is a part of our natural human thought that wants to protect us and keep us safe from any form of displeasure and even disruption. This is what most call the ego, that part of our mind that helps protect our fragile self concept, our feeling, and the picture the ego holds of us.

This ego also comes into play when you are trying to change something about yourself which it senses as uncomfortable because it is unknown or may disrupt the habits already established. The ego doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.

How can you override, go around or through the ego to make the changes you desire.

With this you will need to take command of your thinking manually yourself. Your ego has had free range up to this point, so expect the possibility some mental and emotional resistance.

Developing strong deeply seated compelling reasons for the changes, you will find the drive to persist as you are taking command from your ego.

When you find examples of what is effective for others you gain a confidence that bolsters your determination. It’s feels more definite knowing that what you are attempting at least has worked for others.

3. Once A Body Is In Motion . . .

Science tells us it is likely to keep in motion.

You keep doing the same things you have always done because that’s what you know how to do.

Your thought patterns, how you perceive things, and how you interpret things is all the product of years of gradual accumulation, one piece building upon another.

All that you have accumulated in your mind from your experiences is what you know, and it’s the basis of all your thought and action.

So it’s easy to see how you will likely keep operating from the same basis as you always have, because that’s what you know and what you are mentally and emotionally comfortable with.

And yes, even if you really want some things to be different, your mind will automatically keep using your history to shape your future.

It’s a lot like a mile long train barreling down the tracks at 60 miles an hour. Once it’s moving it’s hard to stop and it’s staying on the track that’s already been laid!

You will need to discover and implement new habits that better serve your desired outcomes. The tough part of this is that you will tend to keep filtering everything through your existing perceptions. This makes it tough to figure out exactly what to do when it includes things you are not familiar and experienced with.

A powerful method for determining exactly what to do is to copy people who are already successful. This way you are not stuck trying to figure it all out on your own, using only the experience and ‘tools’ you have accumulated.

4. Repeating Habits

Everything you think and do is based on habit, you can label it good or bad, but it is habitual.

If you do nothing to these self-perpetuating habits that you have accumulated, they will just keep on going and get stronger and stronger.

Habits are just a series of thoughts and actions that are tied together and automatically played like a computer program triggered by specific related circumstance.

It is normal for most people to allow them to run automatically, life would be far more complex if we always made new decisions each time something came up.

However, we usually have allowed many things to habitually occur that we are not even aware of, or think we can change.

Here the big question becomes what should you change to, when you want something different than what you now experience?

Further, you may question the validity of what you think up for new habits, as to whether they are worth your efforts and will reveal the results you want.

The example of others is the most straightforward way to find actions that have desirable results. This is how you learned most of your current thinking and behavior as you have developed up to this point. You just haven’t consciously chosen much of it.

You can determine what to actually do by looking at the desirable evidence in the life of someone successful. And now make the conscious choice about what you want in your life.

OK, so you have some ideas about the life you want to live, that’s usually the easy part.

It’s coming up with the new effective thinking and behavior that leads to the results you want that can be tricky. Particularly when all your current habits with your collected body of knowledge and experience supports what you now have, not what you want.

It will take some determination at first to take command of your thinking from your ego as it wants to keep the status quo and is protective of your comfort.

Soften your doubts and fears about change by finding proven thinking, habits and success traits.

Learning from the study of successful people supports your change efforts in a few ways:

ท You will have more confidence and determination in pursuing something that you’ve seen work.

ท You are not relying only on your existing body of knowledge and experience to create something new.

ท Modeling others is the most natural learning method your brain already possesses.

ท You now can choose what to model based on specific outcomes.

ท Discover things you may not have even thought of yet.

ท Fast track your growth progresses.

ท Less fear knowing others can and have already done it.

ท Quicker to decide and take action on something with proven results.

ท Less time wasted on indecisiveness and confusion.

ท What to visualize for yourself.

ท Increase your self-awareness and motivation.

ท Improve your positive attitude and self-confidence.

Think, what if the auto manufacturers had to re-invent the wheel with each year’s new cars?

Why do this with your life, when you can use what others have already discovered and proven!

Existing successful people are your greatest resource for what you can and should be doing on order to live the success you desire.

Manifesting Success or Failure!

As we stand back an look at life, have you ever wonder why some do       some don’t? Why some people have things and others don’t. Is it fate or is it action? The manifistation of success can’t be fate. It has to be action or the lack of. If you sit back and do nothing, nothing is accomplished. Success is a state of mind that becomes a reality. Why? Because there was action. A thought, a dream, a desire was put into action in one way or another. A loser or failure usually comes from inaction or the lack of serious consideration of what one it doing.

Case in point. We all have our set backs. Things happen outside of our control. But how you handle it makes all the differince in the world. If you sit back and say I am doomed and do little to nothing you probaly will be. But if in your mindset you accept the worst thing that can come out of it, then you are free to solve the problem. What I’m saying is that if you don’t clear the way for your mind by accepting the problem you will have a very hard time solve it, because your worrying about it.

It goes back to what the mind can concieve and believe the body can achieve. You have to think success to have success. You have to think winner to be a winner. No matter what you are doing in life, a runner, a business man, the common construction guy. If you don’t believe you can do the job you won’t.

Have you ever notice that the people that grow up with parents that say you will never be anything! Their friends tell them that you can’t do that. You know what? These people grow up with everyone putting limitations on them and in their minds they are limited. Then you get the few who Refuse to believe. They will go on to do things far better than any of their family or friends.

Many many times we’ve heard about when the parents told their child that they can be and do anything they set their mind to. These children had no limitations sat on them and usually do very very well. In fact many of them become GREAT individuals. You have to believe in yourself. You need to grab life as it goes by not just let it float by.

The manifesting of positive actions and thoughts are the keystones of a successful life.