Advice To Help People To Reduce Stress

If you are one of the many people who are suffering from stress, then this article may well be of interest and benefit to you. I believe that I am one of the biggest stress-heads in the country but have recently, with the help and advice of a friend, managed to lower and deal with most of my anxieties.

I feel that I am very fortunate as I have a very good friend who is called Ian. I have known Ian for most of my life and am able to talk to him about any problems that I have. He is a good listener and always seems to come up with some positive advice.

Ian is very much aware of the fact that I basically stress far too much and has tried to install a more care-free attitude into my personality. For whatever reason, I have been unable to implement this form of attitude and have continued to worry to the extent where I have even suffered from panic attacks.

During a recent evening out, I was as usual complaining about this or that in my normal negative way. Ian listened carefully as I explained my latest fears and worries and then came back with some considered advice. He suggested that there was possibly not enough fun in my life and that a weekend break could be exactly what I needed. A bit of sun and a few beers could do me a power of good he explained. It could be a way of taking my mind off all of the demons in my head and a chance to let my hair down etc.

Looking back, I have actually started to feel sorry for Ian and am surprised that he has not had enough of my moaning ways.

I thought about what Ian had said and believed that it was a good idea. It was certainly worth a go in any case. I asked Ian if he would like to join me on this break, to which he agreed. A sucker for punishment or what!

We decided to go to Devon which is situated on the South-West coast of England. This is an area that I love as it is such a relaxed place to be, especially compared to the busy city where I live.

It was a superb weekend and I made sure that I did not stress or even think about anything from back home. This was very hard to carry off but was essential, not only for me but also for Ian.

We had probably more alcohol than what many people would recommend and ate some great food. The weather was superb which helped in the recovery from the previous nights abuses. I even thought about possibly moving to Devon in the future as this could help me to become more relaxed. At the moment, for many different reasons, this is out of the question however.

If you are constantly under pressure or in a stressed out state, I would advice a similar course of action. Give yourself a break to have some fun and to give your body a chance to de-stress.

Forgiving Yourself and Others

At some point in our lives, all of us have been wronged by another person and felt hurt, angry or resentful. This is a natural reaction and part of being human. However, if we do not resolve or come to terms with these hurts, they drive our actions and create a negative way of life. By harboring past hurts, we have the potential to do far more harm to ourselves than anyone else can possibly do.

“All illness is caused by not forgiving.”
– Native American belief

Forgiving others – or yourself – does not mean forgetting or condoning what happened, or giving up the values that were violated or assuming you are at fault; nor is it condemning the other person or seeking justice or compensation. Forgiveness can be viewed as foregoing the resentment or revenge when the wrongdoer’s action deserves it and giving the gifts of mercy, generosity and love when the wrongdoer does not seem to deserve them. To release the shackles of the past, we must be willing to forgive.

Forgiveness is about creating a state “for giving” – both to self and others – and excusing a mistake or an offense and letting go of the associated hurt, anger or resentment. Because forgiveness has the greatest benefit to the person doing the forgiving, it is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself.

Forgiving allows us to get on with our lives and to open up our minds and hearts to new ways of seeing others, the world and ourselves. It releases energy that can be used for other, more productive thoughts and actions.

How To Stay Calm When Life Isn’t

No matter what is happening in the world around us, it is never necessary to become caught in depression, fear or other negativity. We are not the victims of the world we see, but have the ability to mobilize ourselves and take charge of the way we respond. There are simple steps to take which when practiced easily turn our state of mind around – and effect the world outside as well.

It is very important to both learn and take these steps. Depression and fear can easily become addictive. The longer we stay in negative states of mind, the more difficult it can become to leave them ..Our world then grows smaller and we begin to develop catastrophic expectations. We lose touch with our own power to take charge, to choose actions and perceptions which counteract the negativity. However, it is the right and responsibility of every mature adult, to steer their lives in the direction of their own choosing. The tools offered both in this article and program make it easy to do. They all result in a process of Centering. The more we practice these steps, the stronger we grow, and the more we can see negativity for what it is, something that has no power other than that which we give it.

Centering
This practice of Centering is universal. Many forms of exercise, martial arts and meditation are ways of achieving centering and balance. They are ways of tapping into the fundamental strength and courage all individuals are endowed with. In Zen they say, “Open the treasure house within.” This reminds us that we are endowed with gifts which are far greater than we currently realize or employ.

In this article, some Centering practices will be offered. While these are simple, they are very powerful. When they are taken on and practiced daily, an individual calms down and changes will soon be seen.

Attention
We are what we think about.. Morita, a Japanese psychiatrist, the founder of Morita Therapy, states that all neurosis comes from frozen attention that has gotten stuck and fixed upon recurring negative thoughts. The more we give attention to that which is destructive, the more strength it has to rule our lives. This can be counteracted rather easily.

Take back your attention. Do not let it be absorbed by all that is presented to it. The power of focus is the power of life. Spend time each day developing focus and concentration. Withdraw yourself from the chaotic external world for a period of time each day, and pull your attention back within. Sit with a straight back, do not move and concentrate upon your breath. Let random thoughts come and go. Do not suppress them, but do not let them grab your attention away. At first you may be besieged by many surprising thoughts and feelings, but if you simply notice them and then return your attention to your breathing, these will soon die down.

Count your breath from one to ten, then all over again. Do this for at least ten to fifteen minutes without moving. By not moving we are stopping what is called the monkey mind, the mind, which jumps from one thing to the next, fears, demands, grabs and sabotages our lives. It is the monkey mind, which causes our sorrow and fear. But it is only a part of us, it cannot take over our lives, when we take our attention back. By doing this daily, we are strengthening new parts of ourselves, which can guide and lead us in a new direction, one of meaning, and well-being.

This wonderful time spent with oneself is a simple way to attain perspective, become able to see clearly and be rooted in the larger truth. This time becomes a fortification against many storms, which naturally besiege us. We develop a place within ourselves, which we can always return, for wisdom, strength and comfort. When we allow the external world to consume us, we are simply giving our natural treasures away.

Rather than struggle to analyze and undo our patterns, we work directly with our attention. The question before us always is: What am I focusing on this moment? Am I present to the breathing, or lost somewhere in a dream, dwelling upon the pains and wrongs I think have others have done me, or the terrible things that can happen someday?

Reality continually renews and confronts us with new tasks, challenges, opportunities and solutions, day after day. Are we in touch with this ever flowing reality? Are we asking ourselves what is available now, what gifts we are receiving and what we can give to others, or are we dwelling upon how wronged, threatened or deprived we’ve always been?

Gratitude
As we do this faithfully, the second step of Centering appears. At a certain moment we become aware that depression and gratitude cannot co-exist in the same person at the same time. When our focus and life are primarily self absorbed, revolving around self-centered dreams, what we need and what others are thinking of us, we live in a prison without bars. Underlying feelings of worthlessness emerge, producing additional depression, hostility and stress.

In Centering as we become aware and grateful our focus naturally changes to all that we are receiving, to what others need, what we can give, what has to be done. And then we do it. We take action. We do not hesitate. When our focus is placed upon simple daily actions, and upon doing “deeds of service”, the monkey mind is dismantled and passing emotions do not take center stage.

As we Center we learn to do each action with full attention, (no matter how small or large). We do not dwell upon the outcome. Our joy and satisfaction comes from acting with a whole heart and mind. Results and consequences are secondary, and take care of themselves. When we are not absorbed by concern for outcomes, how much anxiety can we ever have?

The most powerful antidote to psychological suffering is an individual’s sense of self worth. When we are taking actions that are meaningful to us, self-respect develops naturally. When our behavior arises out of a grateful mind, each individual inevitably finds a personal alignment between their daily actions and highest values. As they become more and more occupied with that which is valuable, and life giving, their resourcefulness increase as does their sense of worth. They can then handle any difficult situation and give what is needed to all. Living in this manner, life feels like a gift they are constantly receiving, and they become a gift to life as well.

How to change just about anything in your life the easy way

“How To Change Things The Easy Way”

Firstly, I’d like to say that I really appreciate the opportunity that you’ve given me to be your coach. There’s a couple of things that I’d like to run through before we get started. You really need to be open minded to get the best out of this program, it’s like the old saying, the mind is like a parachute, it only works
when it’s open.
One of the most important things you need to be aware of is “Social Hypnosis”, we get hypnotised by the beliefs of all the people that we surround ourselves with and we really need to put those aside while we are reading this, to gain an understanding of some things from a different perspective. This will allow you to weigh it up and decide what you want to do with it.
I know, just because you’re reading this right now, you are one of the few who act, as opposed to many who just talk and wish for things to be easier. So let’s now cover some ideas on how to create success in any area of our life, and yes that’s right I am talking to you!

We’re going to go through a model for change. The question I have for you is do you experience emotions that you would prefer to experience less? What would those emotions be called? Some would be called anger or maybe frustration or fear and so on.
What I’m about to reveal is a model for change; it is not “THE” model for change it is “A” model for change. There are many ideas out there but this is one that I have used for over a decade and it’s made a significant difference to me and the many thousands of others I have shared this with. If the way you try to change thins in your life isn’t working as well as you’d like, then give this one a shot.

Outcome/Results/Emotion
^
^
^
Action/Behaviour
^
^
^
Attitude/Belief
^
^
^
Input

For the purpose of this exercise, I’m suggesting that we assume the emotion is the end result, I realise that our emotion or how we feel has a huge influence over how things turn out or the results you get, so if you buy into this model it then means we have the opportunity to change the emotion. Then buy changing the emotion we will get different results.

Let’s quickly walk through this model. This model is saying if you want your results to improve how you feel needs to needs to change. For example if you are a sales person and you are always pessimistic and down in the dumps you are not going to sell a whole lot. Enthusiasm is the ticket for making sales and if you follow this model you will have an abundance of it. Or perhaps there have been times in your life when being calm would have gotten a great outcome in a certain situation but at the time “calm” wasn’t even on the radar!
This model says that how you behave, or in other words how you move your body (body language) determines how you feel. If you don’t believe me stop what you are doing right now and leap up and put the biggest, craziest smile you have ever done on your face. Now I bet you feel different doing this than you did just reading the previous sentence. You may feel silly or embarrassed right now (That is of course if you did it and didn’t just sit there like most people would) or perhaps you feel like laughing, but you DO feel different. Because the way you use your body changes your emotions and in this model that body movement or body language is being labeled behaviour.

We will unpack other ways to use this model in future articles but
for now I challenge you to start to manage your emotions with your
body language, have a ton of fun with it and share it with your friends.

Till next time, remember you only have your bad habits to lose so, GO FOR IT!!

All good things,
Mick Hawes THE HEAD COACH
www.getyourheadintogear.com

Stress Management Is A Learned Technique!

Here I will begin with something that happened many many years ago. It was when I attended my college in 1994 in Princeton.

When I saw him for the first time in the Class Room, I was a bit surprised. How could this sort of a human being who is typical of his Eastern reigns, be our “Stress Management” Professor? His stiff face seemed incapable of generating any smile! Lines appeared on his forehead, even before he was making efforts to start his career in our College with his first lecture on “Stress Management.” I was a bit anxious and eager to enjoy his maiden performance!

I thought he would start with a big platitude on the subject of stress and how to manage it and all that! By quoting definitions and mentioning the names of famous psychologists.

He didn’t do that.

It was very interesting how he propagated the subject of stress management for 21 century youth. I am reproducing his one-shot lecture on stress management. It helped me and it might help you as well.

“First off, I will give you example of my grandma- how she manages the stress! Curry for the night is her worry for the morning…and look, how nicely she carries the burden of stress and its management. She manages stress in her typical style, every day! You go by her words, think that she is stressed! But how crafty she is, in the domestic front!”

Stress management is a technique. It is winning over any tough situation, with the charm of your personality and deft handling of the situation. It is about meeting the challenges. Convert defeat into a victory!

Causes of stress may be many; for its management, no hard and fast rules can be prescribed. You have to deal with the stress, as per the demands of time and situation.

The reasons for stress may be:

1. Danger
2. Threat
3. Good or bad news
4. Illness
5. Perceptible changes in one’s identification with the self
6. Any other strong external or internal stimuli

How to manage the stress?
Before you think about managing the stress, you need to understand the bottom line of your stress. Its root cause! Its real cause! Only then you can think about the management of stress. For public consumption, you can project any cause, but you know what is really wrong with you. There are several ancillary tools to assist you in stress management.

These hints can help you in stress management:

1. Organize yourself in a methodical manner.
2. Develop a confidence, that you possess grit for conflict resolution.
3. Let your approach be positive.
4. Auto-suggestion- Talk to yourself.
5. Do pranayama (breathing exercises) and meditation.
6. Do light exercises regularly.
7. Do not over-exert.
8. Keep a diet control. What you eat and how you eat is important!

In the end, what matters in stress management, is your strong will power. Have a will to outgrow the stress, and grow your will!

11 Great ways to relieve stress…

In our lives today, we often find ourselves so busy taking care of the home, the children, our businesses, our social life, our children’s social life, our bills and just life in general that we often forget to take care of ourselves.
With us wearing so many hats in life, we often find ourselves stressed and worn out. But there are remedies for this. For me personally, I find that by making myself indulge in at least one of the following during my week, I am much happier and a lot less stressed. I find myself enjoying this “My Time” but I also sometimes try to get my family involved so that we all can lead a more stress free life.

1.) Try to live Simply
2.) Take a nice long scenic walk, perhaps the beach or the lake. (Even invite a friend)
3.) Put on your favorite music, turn it up loud and dance
4.) Light up your electric simmering (aroma) pot with a softly scented aroma. This allows your senses to relax, thus allowing you to relax. Then curl up on the sofa with a good book
5.) Sink into your tub for a long, luxurious soak at the end of the day. Light a few nicely scented candles, turn off the lights and let the glow and scent of the candle relax your mind, body and soul.
6.) Splurge just a little and go in for a professional massage at your local day spa
7.) Go have a manicure and pedicure done. (And I truly suggest the Spa Pedicure – ohh la la!)
8.) How about your favorite movie? You know the one that just made you laugh, cry and smile.
9.) Another great idea is your local Coffee Stop. This is especially nice if it has a book store inside. Grab a cup of coffee or cappuccino and a magazine and just relax with the latest Hollywood gossip or a wonderful romance book
10.) Got a best or very dear friend you haven’t talked to in awhile? Pick up the phone and call her and reconnect.
11) The number one Stress Reliever: Take a Vacation!!!

Is Your Job Stressful? Add a Little Harmony

Every job has stress. Some stress is due to the nature of the job, some stress we apply to ourselves, and some stress is caused by those around us, be it demanding bosses, unreasonable customers or unproductive and scheming co-workers.

Malcolm S. Forbes once said, “If you have a job without any aggravations, you don’t have a job.”

So if workplace stress is a given, then how we handle this stress has a large impact on how well we perform and how much we enjoy our job.

The fact is that living and working with others is not always easy. You don’t have to like the people you work with, but you do need to be able to co-exist and co-operate with them. You can start by remembering that everyone has their place and the more harmony you can bring to the situation the more enjoyable it will be for everyone.

Why not try bringing a little harmony to the workplace by imagining your job as being a member of a choir. In a choir some people sing too loud, others too softly and some out of tune, but we’re all still part of the same choir. If you sing louder to compete with the loud singers or sing so softly that you are not heard or sing out of tune just to fit in, then you do nothing to help the choir-you don’t add anything to the harmony.

You can’t change how another sings, you can only do the best that you can and hope that others follow your lead.

The Roman philosopher Sallust said, “Harmony makes small things grow, lack of it makes great things decay.”

Wise words, indeed. Whatever you do, don’t add to the disharmony, this will only make matters worse and drag the choir further out of tune.

Your performance should be based on how well you perform, and not the performance of others. The more harmony there is in a choir the better it sounds. The more harmony we can create at work the less stressful our job becomes. Don’t let someone else singing off key ruin your song.