2 Steps To Stay On Track

Are your goals set? Are you all geared up to get started on them? Have you established some ways to support your goals? What will ensure that you actually stay on your desired path?

It is easy to get off path. It is easy to get all wrapped in stuff in everyday life. You know what I mean? I know, I have been off track with my goals. When you do set goals and establish ways to get where you want to go, how do you stay on track?

When you have clear goals that you want to achieve, it is easier to set the steps to achieve them. It sounds easy. The fact is you will only take control of your goal when you “stop doing things” that you are doing. Look at your life right now? What does it look like? Did you get the steps done today to reach your goal? What you did today will show up later? How then do you stay on track? Here are 2 steps to stay on track towards your goals:

1. Hire a coach or mentor. This is one effective way to stay on track towards what you desire in life. The coach can guide you in the right path. They can tweak your game. There are all types of coaches for any goal from weight loses to relationships to business. Find the right one for you. If you can’t afford one report to someone that you trust. Have a significant other person serve as a coach. This will help ensure that you do what you are supposed to be doing to reach that goal. Most successful people have coaches. They have a coach that tweaks their game. I heard at one time that Oprah Winfrey had 7 coaches. Look how successful she is in her life. I don’t know all I know is that every millionaire I have meet had a coach.

2. Join people that have a goal similar towards yours. There are many organizations out in your own community. If you can’t find one in your area. Check online, there are all types. By surrounding your self with like-minded people can accelerate your steps towards your desire goal. This helps surround yourself with reinforcement on your goal. It holds you accountable.

Most people get off track on their goals at some point. When you find yourself off the track, ask yourself what I am doing right now? Is it towards or away from my desired goal? Once you start to take action on your top priorities, you will gain more confidence. You will have more time power. You will feel like you are walking on water.

Anything is Possible

The other day I was reading a very interesting article concerning a shark attack that occurred way back in 1916. It played off along the North East coast of the U.S. and concerned a great white shark, that had been had been terrorizing the New Jersey beaches.

Now everybody knows and accepts that a shark is a creature of the sea and needs salty water to survive. Therefore nobody thought that a shark may attack them in freshwater, but that is exactly what happened later that year.

This particular shark remained close to the shore and eventually swam up a river stream around Raritan Bay, attacking a couple of bathers upstream.

Shortly before the attacks occurred, a retired Sea captain, by the name of Thomas Cottrell saw this shark swimming upstream while crossing a bridge. He couldn’t believe his eyes, but nevertheless got into his boat and raised the alarm. Not surprisingly nobody believed him. “A shark in a river? C’mon, get real, It’s not possible.”

But you know what? As incredible as it seemed there was a shark in the river and all those who didn’t heed the warnings were in danger of being attacked.

Eventually this shark killed two people. The first victim was a teenager who may or may not have heard Cottrell’s warning. Shortly after this attack another man jumped in the water to look for the victim, even though he was told there is a shark in the water. He too was attacked and died from a severe loss of blood.

While reading this I couldn’t help thinking about September 11 and see the parallels between these two stories.

When asked by the U.S. Congress and the media, why “clues” which should have been picked up were disregarded, the heads of the FBI and CIA as well as members of the Bush administration replied, “We didn’t think they would use airplanes as missiles.”

Had the FBI and CIA believed that something like what happened on 9/11 was possible they might have put measures into place which would likely have prevented this from happening. But they didn’t, even though the hijackers left dozens of “clues.”

Similarly if the swimmers at the US East Coast had believed Captain Cottrell when he told them there was a shark in the river, chances are that nobody would have been killed by this shark on that day.

But because they believed it is “impossible” for a shark to be found in freshwater they disregarded the warning altogether, just as the US law enforcement agencies did, resulting in many paying with their lives.

On the other hand there are human beings who overcame extraordinary odds and accomplished great feats. Everyday we hear stories of people who were told by the so-called “experts” they didn’t have what it took, yet made it regardless.

The lesson here is that anything is possible, both the good and the bad. By believing or not believing in something doesn’t mean you will not be affected by whatever happens. But it means that based on what you believe, you may take some action which may save you from something terrible or may get you out of a terrible situation.

There are many of us who are in terrible situations, including poverty, unhappiness, debt, etc. Those of us who have changed their situation, did it because they believed they could make it.

Those who don’t obviously don’t believe that they can change their situation otherwise they would have done something about it, right?

How many opportunities have you missed just because you thought it wouldn’t work or wasn’t possible. Just think what you could do if you believed that you could do anything, even realise your dreams?

What great talent do you have which you have done nothing about, because you probably believed you can’t do it.

I hope to have shown you through this short article that anything is possible. And that by just believing, “I Can,” your battle is already half-won.

Forgiving Yourself and Others

At some point in our lives, all of us have been wronged by another person and felt hurt, angry or resentful. This is a natural reaction and part of being human. However, if we do not resolve or come to terms with these hurts, they drive our actions and create a negative way of life. By harboring past hurts, we have the potential to do far more harm to ourselves than anyone else can possibly do.

“All illness is caused by not forgiving.”
– Native American belief

Forgiving others – or yourself – does not mean forgetting or condoning what happened, or giving up the values that were violated or assuming you are at fault; nor is it condemning the other person or seeking justice or compensation. Forgiveness can be viewed as foregoing the resentment or revenge when the wrongdoer’s action deserves it and giving the gifts of mercy, generosity and love when the wrongdoer does not seem to deserve them. To release the shackles of the past, we must be willing to forgive.

Forgiveness is about creating a state “for giving” – both to self and others – and excusing a mistake or an offense and letting go of the associated hurt, anger or resentment. Because forgiveness has the greatest benefit to the person doing the forgiving, it is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself.

Forgiving allows us to get on with our lives and to open up our minds and hearts to new ways of seeing others, the world and ourselves. It releases energy that can be used for other, more productive thoughts and actions.

A General Look at Alchemy Part 2

Physical Alchemy

Transmutation of one substance into another such as base metals into gold, water into wine, etc., is the physical aspect of alchemy. It is often referred to as the “Greater Circulation.” Much charlatanry and quackery became involved with this aspect and many people were cheated by rascals who claimed that they had in their possession the Philosopher’s Stone that could effect a transmutation of base metals into gold. Human greed knows no bounds; the poor wishes to be wealthy, the rich aims to be wealthier, and with all their efforts, whether successful or not, sorrow and suffering is the karmic result.

Aspirants of the Ancient Wisdom are taught that the world of form is transient and that one’s happiness should not be based upon something that is illusory. Illusions do not last and they are not eternal. They bind man to a false sense of human limitation. They enslave man to matter by seducing him to indulge in things that hampers the development of the soul. Truth and the Real are that which is eternal and they are to be found in the “kingdom of God” within us. Unfortunately, most Christians overlook this one of the most important injunctions of the Nazarene Master. The ancient precepts advises us further that the less earthly desires one has, the richer one truly becomes.

The “Lesser Circulation” of the herbal family is also included in this category of Physical Alchemy. The main object of this work is the search for a universal panacea that would cure the ills and sufferings of humanity. This is quite a noble desire should the lucrative aspect and profit motive be absent; it would exemplify the Bodhisattva ideal.

In contemporary times, there are many of those who have claimed to have accomplished a successful transmutation in their laboratories, even teaching the secrets of the art to their ardent followers.

Biological Alchemy

When alchemists realized that they were advancing in age and were no closer to the goal of physical transmutation, they sought a way to stall the process of old age, to regenerate the body, and even to acquire a degree of physical immortality and biological immunity to diseases that humankind is so prone.

With such an object in view, they commenced their search for an “Elixir of Life” that would prolong their physical existence. At the very onset, the search took them to the field of herbalism, for many plants were believed to possess the traditional virtues of the fabled “Fountain of Youth.” The Hindu mystics attribute such qualities to the “Soma” creeper. The Chinese Taoists declare that a certain mushroom that they call “lung chih” has the virtue of regenerating the physical body. The Egyptian god Thoth is also said to have described a life-giving mushroom which conferred immortality.

At a later period, however, the discovery was made that the real Elixir lied within man himself, and it had to be manufactured via psycho-biological means. Briefly, this is the work to be undertaken at the biological level.

Psychological Alchemy

Psychological, or “Mental Alchemy,” is the science of the development of the Mind. Of the four lower bodies, the mental sheath is the only one unstructured, as yet, into an organized body–that is, in most people. In the course of evolution, the mental body will be constituted and coordinated so as to allow the Ego, and the waking consciousness, to function fully in the mental realm. The “Secret Doctrine” of H.P.Blavatsky tells us that in the Fifth Round the mental body is expected to be fully developed. Mental Alchemy accelerates the evolution of the Mind. It permits its practitioner to acquire in the Fourth Round what Nature intends humankind to attain in the next with her somewhat languid process. Mental development entails the development and the refinement of the following abilities, qualities, and faculties:

1) A universal attitude and perspective

2) Imagination

3) Concentration

4) The ability to reason inductively, deductively, syllogistically, analytically, analogically, etc.

5) Mental quietude

6) Abstract thinking

7) Divine thinking

Mental receptivity

9) Visualization

10) Discrimination (Viveka)

11) Detachment (Vairagya)

12) Meditation

13) Mental creation Etc.

Before quick progress can be made in developing the above faculties, the mind has to be purged of all the phobias, neurosis, and psychosis that are infecting it; even the guilts, resentments, and sinful feelings torturing one’s consciousness. The aspirant is advised to forgive–forgive self and forgive others. The steps of conviction, contrition, confession, consecration, and communion should be adhered to when one desires spiritual unfoldment.

One of the other steps to be taken is the unification of the male and female aspects of the psyche. Psychoanalysis, however, has only touched the outer fringes of the mind with its inner probings.

Mental Alchemy, like the previous categories, is not considered the ultimate goal of Alchemy. They are but stepping stones leading to Transcendental Alchemy. More on Mental Alchemy and the general laws governing transmutation may be read in the Kybalion written by anonymous initiate-writers.

Transcendental Alchemy

All things in their natural unregenerated state are considered dead by alchemists. Man in his natural state is in a state of death. Master Jesus voiced this precept when he declared, “let the dead bury the dead.” Transcendental Alchemy raises Man from the “State of Nature, to a State of Grace.” The process reunites the sadhaka, the disciple, to the Atma, and later to the Monad in full awareness. This is the “unio mystica” sought fervently by mystics of all Ages. When Man unites with the totality of Life, he factually unites himself with God, for Life and God are synonymous.

Unity with “Tao,” Lao Tse’s mystic term for the Absolute, results in the realization of one’s true Identity and Reality. The individual who is united with the Absolute is a Jivanmukta, a freed being–freed from ignorance, maya, and mortality; human consciousness expands and embraces Cosmic Consciousness in this unified state. Figuratively, the Drop returns to the Ocean, and the Spark to the Flame, and Man’s essential divine nature shines forth with the splendour of the Sun. This is the destiny of Man–to advance into the Kingdom of God and be all that God wants him to be.

There are various systems of spiritual unfoldment catered to the basically, seven different temperaments of Man, that leads him to his ultimate goal. Transcendental Alchemy is one of these sublime systems. It is essentially yogic in nature. Meditation, concentration, and contemplation are stressed and the work of the previous levels of transmutation are conducive to its successful outcome.

Symbols of Alchemy

Since ancient times symbols have been used to describe something that words were not adequate enough to express. The intellect has its limitations in comprehending spiritual verities. Intuitively, Man feels that the forces of nature are intelligently directed. How and why, his human mind is unable to explain. Cosmic principles, though inadequately described verbally by prophets of God, finds its inculcation upon the human mind expressively through symbols and signs.

Symbols are not restrictive, nor exclusive. Minds interpret symbols according to the level of their mental and spiritual development. The child-mind interprets a symbol in one way, while the transcendental mind would interpret it in another.

Most symbols are taken from Nature; others invented by Man, usually take on the form of combined geometric elements. Examples of the former are: the snake, which symbolizes regeneration; the scarabeaus–immortality; mountains–obstacles, etc. Examples of the latter: the Martinist pentacle–the unity of Man and Omneity; the Egyptian ankh–Life and Immortality; the circle–eternity.

Symbols have a certain usefulness in transforming the mind. Whatever man thinks upon, that he becomes. By meditating on symbols, or images representing power, love, holiness, and compassion, for example, through mental induction man unfolds such qualities within his nature.

Personally developed symbols are sometimes used as media for communicative exchange between the waking consciousness and the subconscious mind. This is effected by ascribing a certain attribute to a, preferably, invented symbol by repetitious thought and contemplation upon it. For example, the waking mind may ascribe to lightning as a symbol the meaning of danger by constant focus and suggestion upon it until it is absorbed by the subconscious mind. At a later date, when real danger is present, an intuitive impression with the lightning symbol would flash through from the subconscious to the waking mind, thus warning the individual. This method is also applicable to enrich and enlarge upon symbolic dream content and to induce the subconscious to utilize the newly absorbed symbols which are non-mystifying to the waking-consciousness.

Alchemy is very rich in symbolism. The Royal Art itself is sometimes represented by the Pelican and the Phoenix bird. The latter was invented by mystics in Alexandria during its heyday; the former, by a group of Knights Templer in the British Isles.

Alchemical symbols of past ages were designed to reveal, as well as to conceal; to stimulate the mind to awaken from its intellectual-complacency. Alchemical mandalas describe processes of transmutation. Truths, laws, and principles, which are pertinent to an aspirant’s spiritual unfoldment, are similarly depicted within mandalas. Such truths were obscured by vague language and inexplicable diagrams for protection from persecution, because truths, for some reason, were, and still are, considered heretical by Christian orthodoxy. In accord with this dire situation, alchemical symbols, as an expedient, took on Christian coloration.

Let us examine the following common alchemical symbols:

1) The Hermaphrodite

2) Dragons

3) The Caduceus

The Hermaphrodite

Modern psychology has discovered that the human psyche possesses both masculine and feminine qualities. The male and female polarities are present no matter what our biological gender. One polarity in the human psyche is, however, usually repressed to the background in the Id, the subconsciousness, to the detriment of the psychological equilibrium and stability of the waking consciousness.

There are hierarchies of development and transformation of both male and female qualities evolving within the psyche. The “lowest” rung of the female hierarchy is the “Harlot,” later transfiguring into the “Virgin” of the succeeding rung, and on to the High Priestess” and the “Empress” of the higher stages. The masculine side has its transformation from “Barbarian,” to “Knight,” “Hierophant,” and “Emperor.”

The Hermaphrodite symbolically represents the ideal anima and animus in symbiotic conjunction; the highest aspect of the male and female qualities in perfect balance and unity within the psyche. This is the state of unity that every man and woman unconsciously seeks in an external partner. The search for wholeness should really take place within. Man’s union with Omneity is preceded by man’s union with his alter ego within his waking consciousness.

Any individual with such a coordinated psyche functions balancely and creatively in society. An aura of holiness enfolds the person; the world knows the person as a compassionate, wise, and powerful being. He, or she, is the “twice-born.”

Esoteric tradition teaches that in a future Root Race individuals will be hermaphrodites. Aside from having an androgynous psyche, man would biologically possess two spinal columns with the cerebra-spinal and autonomic nervous system functioning in a closer relationship. Individuals who are capable of controlling autonomic functions such as the heart beat, is a certain indication of where the biological and physiological aspects of man are evolving.

Dragons

There are many myths and legends concerning heroes slaying dragons that are to be found in the mythology of various cultures. We hear in Greek myth of Apollo vanquishing Python; Siegfried, St. George, Krishna, Hermes, and many other heroic figures have also had their dragons to slay. There are basically two species of dragons to be found in alchemical mythos: the celestial, and the terrestrial dragon. The latter dragon is sometimes called “the red dragon.”

What do dragons represent? Dragons are symbols of raw energy within the psycho-biological organism of man. The terrestrial dragon in the microcosm, is the kundalini fire nesting in the kanda. In the average person, this energy is used mainly in sexual gratification and indulgence in sensual activities. Slaying the dragon symbolizes the tapping of this energy for higher uses of the Ego. The student-hero utilizes the sword, symbolic of the will, to overcome the beast within, does so by directing the kundalini fire upwards toward the brain centers via the channel called sushumna–stimulating creativity of a higher order as a result. Illumination is the consequence of the internal marriage that takes place between the negative kundalini force and the higher positive Christic force, symbolised by the celestial dragon, within the Holy of Holies of the sanctum within the cranium. In a symbolical sense, the hero is smeared by dragon’s blood making him immortal. The resurrected Kundalini is sometimes represented by the Phoenix bird.

The individual who has his kundalini raised permanently and hissing through the Third Eye, is honorably called a “Naga,” a Hindu mystic term for “dragon,” or “serpent.” With the experience of illumination, the Naga realizes the oneness and unity of life. The Naga is known for his wisdom in his words, action, and behavior. Master Jesus is presumed to have praised the enlightened Nagas by exhorting his followers to be “as wise as a serpent . . .” Dragons, occasionally, represent the unresolved and repressed energies to be found in the psyche–the “monsters of the id”–such as phobias, neurosis, guilt feelings, and the like.

From the geo-terrestrial angle, dragons represent certain currents of magnetic energy found in certain parts of the earth’s terrain. They could perhaps be called “chakras of the planet.” They also correspond to accupressure points in the body of man. Ley lines are, likewise, associated with geo-terrestrial dragons. The Knights Templers had certain knowledge in this regard–they knew how to determine the locations of magnetically-charged regions. Such hallowed grounds were chosen as sites for cathedrals, chapels, and temples. Dragons are sometimes associated with the body, soul, and spirit of Man.

The Caduceus

Mystic gurus, when instructing disciples, sometimes adopt teaching devices to train their chelas. The Caduceus is one such device. It represents the major nadis, or subtle nervous system to be found in man’s occult anatomy.

The Caduceus, or staff of Mercury, is composed of a rod with two snakes intertwined around the rod. The rod represents sushumna, an etheric counterpart of the spinal cord. Within the sushumna there are other subtle nerves, channels of refine energy; they are called by yogis “Vajrini,” “Chitrini,” and “Brahman.” The sushumna extends upwards and outwards into the Overself as the “Sutratma.” Pingala and Ida are the two nadis depicted by the snakes. The junctions where the snakes and rod meet are symbolic of the major chakras. Vagabond yogis sometimes carry bamboo staffs with seven knots on it to represent sushumna and the chakras.

Atop of the caduceus rod is a knob; a vine creeper is sometimes attached to this knot ending somewhere midway at the staff. The protuberance represents the medulla oblongata with the vagus nerve, the creeper, connected to it. The vagus nerve ends in the thoracic region. Each of these components plays an important role in man’s mystic development. They serve various spiritual functions.

Occasionally, a pair of wings are to be found appended to each side of the knob or rod. This indicates that the kundalini energy at the base of the sushumna had been raised and resurrected. Angelic wings symbolize a superior degree of consciousness and mind.

As a whole, the caduceus symbolizes regeneration and enlightenment. It further depicts the attunement of the mind of man with the Cosmic Mind.

In bygone days, in the Mystery Schools, only the adepts and those of a higher standing were worthy enough to hold such a symbolic staff in their hands. Sometimes the caduceus, or versions of it, were magnetized with odic energy and Atmic force. The Thyrsus held in the hands of hierophants of the Eleusian Mystery School was one rod with such a divine quality impregnated into it. It was primarily designed to stimulate the kundalini fire of the disciples and initiates when their gurus deemed it necessary and appropriate at certain stages of their spiritual growth. The act of impregnating a mystical or religious object with divine influences is called “consecration,” or “magnetization.”

Some occultists interpret the caduceus as representing the Universal Magickal Agent. This magickal force is used abundantly in theurgic and thaumaturgic operations. Egyptian hierophants were adepts in the application of this force. The laws and principles involved in controlling the agent were transmitted under oath of secrecy to seekers of Light. Appolonius, Pythagoras, and Moses are names that come to mind when considering the display of so-called miracles. These eminent individuals were all initiates of the Mystery schools in the Land of Khem.

Nowadays, the Caduceus is an emblem employed by the medical profession. Only in recent years is this branch of science discovering the subtle energies with which this emblem is silently pointing.

Themes of Alchemy

Alchemy, no matter what its level of application, is essentially psychic in nature. All of the laboratory processes described by alchemists takes place mainly in man’s consciousness. Consciousness is the key to transmutation. God-Consciousness is the secret of the royal Art. Functioning in higher dimensions, the conscious mind in unison with higher levels of consciousness, creates forms of perfection in higher realms, in archetypal worlds. The consciousness operating therein coalesces the necessary electronic particles to bring about a manifestation in the physical world. Consciousness, when in the borderline state, easily experiences and produces psychic manifestations.

The Mind is the creator and director of the dynamism and kinetics of subatomic particles. Out of Cosmic Root Substance, or Prima Materia, the Cosmic Mind and Intelligence fashioned the entire universe. Man, being the reflection of the macrocosm, is able to use the same Mind to manifest his designs. Patterns of perfection held constantly in mind becomes living archetypes which stimulates its creator to work spiritually upon his redemption and salvation from bondage to human mortality. We become what we think. Thoughts are living energy, and it is the proper directing of those thoughts by the will that effects transmutation or precipitation. It is declared that thoughts of a divine nature give rise to the vibrations of a Master Soul. Thoughts influence us holistically. Our nerve substances, composition of the blood, auric energies and radiations, are all affected by the state of our mind, by the thoughts that we dwell on a day to day basis.

Every organism is an embryo of a higher development and expression. Nature is constantly striving to produce perfection. Alchemists believe that it is Man’s prerogative to speed up the processes of nature to quickly attain perfection. This spiritual labor is conducted in the laboratory of the soul.
From the Absolute’s point of view, we may speculate that everything is perfect, for “everything” does not truthfully exist–everything is his being. All is God in his omnipresence. God is Immanent and Transcendent. Perfection is a divine quality ever present within Nature and Man. This innate divinity is stressed by spiritual gurus. The “know ye not that ye are gods” precept is emphasized repeatedly.
From the relative point of view, imperfections are to be seen everywhere. Man’s earthly mission is to transmute this disordered condition, this cacophony of man’s evolving principles by attuning with the rhythm of the Cosmos–with the dance of Shiva.

To understand the esoteric science of alchemy, it is necessary to elaborate upon the above through discussing briefly the following alchemical themes:

1) The Philosopher’s Stone

2) The First Matter

3) The Seed

4) Mercury–Sulphur–Salt

5) The Seven Metals

6) The Universal Panacea

7) Fire

Copyright ฉ 2006 Luxamore

Get Organized Secrets

1. Tell yourself that no matter what, some level of clutter with a child is going to happen.

2. Begin with messes and clutter that you see every day. Get organize your kitchen, garage, and family room before your hallway closet.

3. Use drawer dividers for socks, underwear, lingerie, and tiny items, to keep them separated and organized.

4. Use this same principle to organize your silverware, with clearly defined places for every fork and knife, or drawers for ties and socks or, underwear. Think in this same way for every aspect of your home. This will save many hours of searching for things. It will dramatically cut down on the clutter of items left out “for now” or “until I find a place for it.” Develop a new mantra: everything has its place and a place for everything!

5. Allocate everything in your house a place. This way your family will know exactly where to find it and where to put it away, when they searches for something they need.

6. Keep items that are used frequently in places where you can reach them without stooping or bending, and store them close to the place they will be needed.

7. Establish one defined place in your house for storing library books, and end a house-wide hunt when it is time to read or return them.

8. Hang hooks for your keys and purse at the entry to your home, so each time you walk in, you can hang them up.

9. Get rid of all junk drawers, or allow yourself just one that you clear out once a week or more. When you establish certain items are being used repeatedly, designate a drawer for those.

10. Enlist a new rule: throw out one old thing for every new purchase that enters your home.

11. Make a mental note to observe what things pile up in your house and where they cluster, and then come up with a place nearby that becomes the official home where those things will reside. For this purpose baskets, shelves, and folders will work well. Set aside one basket for you and your partner for incoming mail, bills, and receipts and letters.

12. Never go up or down empty-handed when using stairs. Always grab some items that belong to upstairs rooms and quickly put it away while you are there.

13. Create a number of brightly marked folders for discount coupons, invitations and directions, and other time-sensitive papers that just clutter your counters.

14. Things you don’t need any longer:
ท Expired medications.
ท Clothes you no longer wear.
ท Extra paper or plastic grocery bags.
ท Makeup and samples you have never worn.
ท Sunscreen that’s expired or more than one year old.
ท Organize your coupons and throw out all that have expired.
ท Cookbooks you rarely use. Cut out your favorite recipes only.
ท Magazines you meant to read but have never taken the time for.
ท Stuff your crumpled plastic bags from your grocer inside a cardboard roll like a hand towel roll. Keep under your sink.

You will free your mind to remember your daily chores by getting rid of your clutter and organizing your home top to bottom. Be vigilant about cleaning about once a month and you will find it much easier to keep up, week-by-week.

A Starter Guide To Self Improvement

Staying calm, composed and maintaining strong self esteem in today’s tough environment can be difficult but is not impossible if you follow a few simple guidelines. Here are 6 tips you can use as a starter guide to self improvement.

Everything and everyone else around you can affect your self esteem. Other people can deliberately or inadvertently damage your self image. Unchecked people and circumstances can ultimately destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even notice. Don’t let these influences get the best of you. But what should you avoid?

1 : A Negative Work Environment

Beware of a “dog eat dog” environment where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive and working extra is expected and not rewarded. In this environment no one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch, dinner, and stay at work late into the night. Unless you are very fortunate most of the time you will work too hard with no help from others around you. This type of atmosphere will ruin your self esteem. This is not just healthy competition, at its worst it is brutal and very damaging.

2: Other Peoples Behaviour

Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers – whatever you want to call them, all have one thing in common – an overriding desire to prosper at the expense of others. Avoid them and do not be tempted to join them. They may get some short term advantage with their behaviour but deep down most are very insecure, unhappy and ashamed of their behaviour. For most their self esteem disappeared a long time ago. Seeing someone like this prosper is sickening but do not join them – you are better than that!

3: A Changing Environment

In today’s fast moving society it is difficult if not impossible to avoid change. Changes challenge our paradigms and tests our flexibility, adaptability and alter the way we think. Changes can make your life difficult and may cause stress but, if it’s inevitable, you must accept it, don’t fight it and in time find ways to improve your life. Try to manage change and try to avoid multiple changes at the same time. If a particular change can’t be avoided welcome it. Change will be with us forever, we must learn to live with it.

4: Past Experience

We all carry “baggage” – past experiences which have moulded us to who we are today, but some people live in their past experiences – usually something that hurt and still hurts. It’s okay to cry out when you experience pain but don’t let pain dominate your life as it will transform itself into fears and phobias. If something painful happens, or has happened to you, find a way to minimise the effects. Discuss it with a friend, a family member or a professional if necessary and move on. Don’t let it continue to dominate your life and dictate your future actions. Because something bad has happened doesn’t mean it will happen again. Learn what you can from any bad experience and move on.

5: Negative World View

The television news is full of doom and gloom and it is true that around the world there are many people suffering war, famine or other natural or man-made disasters. Whilst I do not suggest you should not care and do nothing, remember that there are many beautiful positive things happening too. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negative aspects around the world. Learn to look for beauty too for, in building self esteem, we must learn how to be positive in a negative world.

6: Determination Theory

Are we a product of our biological inherited characteristics (nature) or a result of the influences we absorb throughout out lives (nurture)? I believe how we are is due to a mixture of both nurture and nature and as a result our behavioural traits are not fixed. Whilst it is true that some things are dictated by genetics (for example race, color and many inherited conditions) your environment and the people in your life have a major effect on your behaviour. You are your own person, you have your own identity and make your own choices. The characteristics your mother or father display are not your destiny. Learn from other people’s experience, so you don’t suffer the same mistakes.

Are some people are born leaders or positive thinkers? I don’t believe so. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing on positive experiences for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. No-one will come to you and give you permission to build your self esteem and improve your self. It is in your control.

It can be hard to keep positive, especially when others and circumstances seem to be conspiring to pull you down. You need to protect yourself and give yourself a chance to stay positive. Improving your self esteem gives you that protection.

One way to stay positive is to minimise your exposure to harmful influences while using affirmations to boost the positive influences in your life. Constantly reminding yourself of the good things in your life will keep the impact of negative influences to a minimum.

Ask Don’t Tell Leadership: Why Do I Need A Business Plan?

Why you need a business plan!!!

Q: In last week’s column, you gave advice about starting a business, and you kept preaching about writing a business plan. I own a business, I don’t have a plan, and I’m doing just fine. What’s the big deal?

A: How do you know your business is doing “fine” if you do not have a business plan? This is like a runner stating that he is “fast” when asked his running pace. Quality and success cannot be measured without having benchmarks and goals. A business plan provides both, allowing you to compare your outcomes to your goals. Without a plan, it is all too easy to keep moving the bar for yourself.

In the words of Alan Lakein, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” Business owners may neglect planning for a variety of reasons. They may dislike making decisions, or they may worry about how the plan will reflect their success. An owner may feel anxious about documenting (and making “official”) job descriptions, lines of authority, budgets, and marketing plans. An entrepreneur may dread such control measures, feeling that a business plan is just like having a boss! If you build a house without a plan, however, you may find yourself living in what looks like a child’s play fort. Every stage is based on a sudden inspiration, and your new home becomes “curiosity run wild.” A quality architect begins with his or her final product in mind. To build a secure business, you must plan.

According to the Small Business Center at Bradley University, 70 to 80 percent of new businesses fail in their first year, and of those that continue past a year, only half survive to five years. Similarly, statistics from Dun & Bradstreet reflect that only 37 percent of businesses with fewer than 20 employees will survive four years, and only 9 percent will survive ten years. In light of such daunting statistics, it seems foolish to take unnecessary risks – like failing to plan.

You may still be thinking, “I can’t make a plan, because things change too quickly.” Although constant change is inevitable in any business, a good plan can be your key to dealing with change. As a sailor, I view a business plan as similar to a centerboard on a small sailboat. Thanks to its centerboard, the boat can continue moving forward, as the winds shift direction; without its centerboard, the boat would flail around and eventually crash. A good plan keeps you consistently moving forward – sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, but without crashing!

While writing your business plan, you may feel frustrated. After all, you will be writing your goals, without taking immediate action to reach them. You must understand where you are and where you are going, before going anywhere. Writing a plan can be exhausting, too. I guarantee, however, your listless feelings will disappear, as your business transforms from “doing just fine” to “doing very well.”

I hope my response to your question is sufficient and gives you an understanding of why I believe a business plan is critical. Below are some questions to consider while developing your plan:

• Why do I want to start my own business?
• Have I found the right business for me?
• Who are my customers?
• What do these customers need that the market is not currently providing?
• How will I reach them?
• What will it take to reach them?
• How much will it cost to provide for their unmet needs?
• How much are they willing to pay to meet these need?
• Can I make money at this business?

Screensavers – Now Get Energized With Inspirational Text

Till now, screensavers have been a tool to enjoy watching scenes. A good screensaver was supposed to have great photographs or animations and good to look at. Not many had thought that screensavers could be used to inspire with text that can re-energize anyone. They are getting made now.

When you watch such screensavers, you will see beautiful images of nature such as mountains, rivers, waterfalls, tress, flowers etc. And a short inspirational text fading in and fading out. Accompanied with great music these screensavers area delight to watch and great tool for getting inspired.

How do they inspire? Think of person who is feeling depressed and hopeless. Most of the times the thought that enter his/her mind are negative and such a person only thinks of defeat. Not many friends will find time regularly to meet him/her and give a pep talk. Most of the times such people are on their own. When they watch Inspirational screensavers, they read the message again and again and that message fights their negativity.

This is a self-help tool. There are more than hundreds of such screensavers available online at no cost and you can download as many as you wish free. Watch them whenever you need to get into inspirational mood. Before a presentation, before an examination or before going for a surgery or anytime you are feeling little low in spirit. Send them to your friends, who you feel may need the screensavers to fight any problems. Screensavers with Inspirational messages are a fun way to get inspired right on your desktop at no cost.

THE CONVERSATION OF RECOVERY

Transformational Counseling is all about assisting another human being to live a life that they love and to live it powerfully. Transformational Counseling is about creating a space for others to learn how to transform their lives, to live a life differently from how it was in the past, to truly create what they desire. Transformational Counseling is about assisting others in their getting and utilizing a powerful technology that will enable them to make a true difference in their life and in the lives of others. Transformational Counseling is about assisting another to become present to how they have stopped themselves in their life and in the process transform their way of being in the world. While comprised of a variety of distinctions that are important for understanding the process of transformation, the utilization of Transformational Counseling has five interrelated components that are crucial to its successful use with others and even with oneself.

While this article will outline the basic principles and components of Transformational Counseling for assisting others, it will also explore its use with those who are experiencing drug and alcohol dependency problems. Transformational Counseling makes available a very powerful technology for anyone who would like to create new possibilities for themselves including those who are in and struggling with recovery. The primary reason for such application rests with the fact that we are all human beings, regardless of whether or not we are experiencing addiction oriented issues. Given our sense of relatedness as human beings, our fundamental process for how we go about creating our world and what occurs there for us is the same. Those who are in the process of entering the recovery process have merely chosen to use alcohol or drugs or both in the past to manage the pain and negative emotions generated from their self-limiting belief and in the process to take themselves out of the Conversation of life. The use of alcohol and drug is merely a way to numb the intense pain generated by being their ego, who they think they are, their self-limiting belief.

Transformational Counseling fully acknowledges the power of the human mind, of thought itself. The thoughts that we have are very important, if not the most important component of what it is to be a human being in that our thoughts are truly creative in nature. We are thinking beings that create initially from our thoughts. Everything that we do or take on in life first began as a thought or idea. It is very familiar for us to believe that the external world is that which is reality and that our thoughts are merely the effect or product of such a world. From such a belief we tend to give little or no real credence to our thoughts and thinking patterns as being the fundamental cause in the matter. As a result we commonly believe that in order for us to be truly happy we must manipulate or change something about the external world, other people, circumstances and situations. However, within the conversation of Transformational Counseling it is our thoughts that shape or determine our experiences, our feelings and behavior and our very sense of reality. Furthermore, it is the thought that we have or create about ourselves that forms the background of our life, the context from which we experience life itself, how the worlds occurs for us.

Transformational Counseling also acknowledges that we are totally responsible for creating our thoughts and most importantly for that which we have about ourselves. Our thoughts are not the result of things happening to us, either from circumstance, situations or the behavior of others but rather it is the interpretation or meaning that we give to the events that happen that makes them appear to us as they do. Events do happen including those involving others but fundamental to understanding our natural, creative process is that it is about what we do with the events, what meaning we give or make them out to be about that determines our experience. We are meaning making machines in a sense, constantly wrapping meaning around everything in life, people, places and things and most importantly about ourselves. The meaning that we give or create with respect to an event will determine the experience that we have as a human being and with it how we feel, the emotions that we have, and also the behavior that will eventually result. Every emotion that we experience and behavior that we cause is the result of thoughts that we create. As mentioned above, the most important thought that we create is that which is about us, the definition that we give ourselves and it is that which determines or defines our self-image, who we think we are in the world.

The recognition that their own thinking may be that which is generating their negative experiences and dependency upon alcohol or drugs or both does not exist for individuals in recovery especially while they are actively using substances. The difficulties that they are having are believed by them to have been caused by something external, their circumstance, life situations or even other people in their life. As they continue to stay focused on that which is external in their attempt to cope with life or even to heal through recovery they are actually continuing to create the same type of experiences and life that originally brought them into recovery. Associated with this way of being is that the individual will tend to assume little if any responsibility for himself. What tends to get created is either blame or even guilt for what the individual is experiencing. Without the recognition or acknowledgement of the true source of their experience and substance use the individual will continue to create the same type of experiences that they are having. Unable to access their natural ability and power to transform their life will leave them having and being more of their past, the probable almost certain future. Unfortunately, such a missing is not only present with the one suffering from dependency issues but also for the majority of the counselors attempting to assist those in recovery. Most of the counselors working with those in recovery do not truly get the creative power of our thoughts or that we are completely responsible for creating them.

The first distinction necessary for one to begin to transform their life has to do with the existence of the self-limiting belief. Becoming present to the self-limiting belief is a process of getting what has truly stopped a person in his life, has stopped him from living a life that he loves and living it powerfully. Once there is the distinction or awareness of the self-limiting belief, of what has been driving a person’s bus, possibly for the first time in that individual’s life the opportunity or space has been created for them to begin to create themselves anew, to reinvent themselves, to be differently in the world. This creative act takes place with the inventing of possibilities. It is by taking on creating and living into a person’s possibilities that the individual begins to create a life much differently than how it once was before a Conversation of transformation. Once possibilities have been created a person next learns how to consistently be or live inside his possibilities by learning the process of enrollment. Once the technology of enrollment is gotten and one begins to consistently apply it in his life, it is by engaging in the development of a Daily Plan and staying in the Conversation with others that the technology of transformation becomes fully realized and lived for the person. This powerful technology is applicable to both the one being assisted and the person doing the assisting and can only be fully realized when both are involved in the Conversation.

The self-limiting belief is a belief that we have about ourselves, about who we think we are in the world. The self-limiting belief is a belief that has affected if not determined our life in the past, is shaping what we think, say, feel, and do in the present and will generate our future. Within the Conversation of Transformational Counseling, the self-limiting belief is a thought or idea that has its genesis between the ages of three and six. An event took place in the individual’s life, an event that the child believes should not have happened as it did and as a child the individual made a judgment or gave the event meaning. Given that for a child everything is about them, it is from this event and the meaning that they invented about it that the child also created an idea about itself, about who they think they are in the world as a result of the event. The child next converts the idea into a belief, a belief that is all about their sense of adequacy, value or worth as person. A sense of something is wrong or not being enough about the self is created. Getting the distinction of the self-limiting belief is crucial to the individual’s personal growth and continued development. If the individual does not get the distinction of the self limiting belief, if it stays hidden from them, of who they have been being, their life will remain as it has always been, as they will continue to be the person they think they truly are. Such a distinction can be gotten several ways. One way, for example, is to have a person begin to monitor their spoken word. Becoming present to what they actually say will eventually reveal the self-limiting belief. Another way to get the distinction of our self-limiting belief is to monitor our self-talk. The self-limiting belief actually exists inside our everyday language, in the words that we say especially when reference is made about the self and inside our inner voice. Even though its genesis is from the past, the self-limiting belief exists in our real time play, self Conversation in the present.

For the individual who is experiencing the pain of alcohol and drug dependency, getting this distinction is crucial to their transformation and also for them to be successful in their recovery. While a Conversation about the existence of the self-limiting belief is very unfamiliar to anyone, there will also be a tendency for the addicted individual to not want to discover it. Common to all human beings, we tend to want to keep our self-limiting belief hidden from ourselves and especially from others. No individual, at least initially, wants to share with another their sense of inadequacy but rather is caught up in looking good or not looking bad to others. We generate a great deal of energy in our attempt to repress its existence, energy that will eventually have a very negative consequence for our way of being or existence in the world. The very process of engaging in a Conversation about the self-limiting belief will eventually recreate the negative emotions associated with the cravings for substances. To become present to the self-limiting belief will necessitate that the individual experience that which is hidden in their fundamental way of being inauthentic in life. Once gotten the individual will also experience the negative emotions that the self-limiting belief generates and it is inside the emotional state that gets created that the addicted individual will have a tendency to want to fix by returning to very familiar ways, to using drugs and alcohol. However, unless the self-limiting belief is gotten life will tend to be as it has been in the past resulting in a probable almost certain future.

The second component of this process is that of creating possibilities for oneself. Creating possibilities is the process of redefining or reinventing oneself, of actually creating new language and words from which to begin to develop a new and more powerful, self-expressed individual. Once the individual becomes present to who they have been being in the world, to their self-limiting belief and the impact that it has had in his life, both on himself and others, a space is now created or opened up for them to literally say or declare who they will now be for themselves, others and the world. Such a process of redefining oneself is as simple as initially creating new words from which to begin to speak or refer to oneself as being. For example, if an individual’s self limiting belief is that he is “not enough,” he could begin to redefine or invent himself as the possibilities of “acceptance”, “creativity” and “leadership” merely by declaring and intentioning himself to be these possibilities in his spoken word. Creating such new language from which to refer to oneself will become for that person his new self-affirmation. Committing such a self-created affirmation to ones spoken word will create a space from which the individual will have the opportunity to experience life differently, a life of power, freedom and full self-expression. Such a declaration is not merely linguistical but will begin to call forth action. Who we are, who we say we are, will eventually determine what we do and have in life.

The listening for the Conversation of possibilities will be even more unfamiliar than the one about the self-limiting belief. Even though possibilities will be caused for the individual and a sense of hope and inspiration created, there will be a tendency at some point for the person to not belief that their life can be truly transformed merely by creating possibilities. Even when the person gets the existence of his self-limiting belief, how he has been being that in his life and the impact upon himself and others as a result, a sense of doubt will arise that mere words or language will truly assist them in transforming their life let alone cause them to be successful with respect to their recovery. As with a newborn child, the existence of possibilities once invented or created will be quite fragile. There will be in the beginning of this Conversation a tendency to return to being ones self-limiting belief if for no other reason than it is familiar to the person. The self-limiting belief is about life in their comfort zone, from the ego, in what is reasonable and familiar to them. Even though the individual will become enrolled into his possibilities it is in the person’s initial not getting of its application in life that will leave it vulnerable. The individual will return to his community and with this reentry a breakdown will happen. The success of this process will rest upon the individual continuing to stay in the Conversation about his possibilities and also upon the one assisting to continue to generate the space necessary for this creative process to be lived fully.

The third component of Transformational Counseling is that of enrollment. Enrollment is the process of continuing to stay inside or live into ones possibilities and out of ones self-limiting belief. The process or technology of enrollment will be vital when ones starts to again experience a loss of power, freedom or self expression which is equitable to the negative human emotions of anger, depression, etc. When we have such an experience our past has again reappeared for us. Such reappearance is merely our self-limiting belief once again determining who we are in the world. Once again our self-limiting belief is driving our bus. The process of enrollment allows us to get the inauthenticity that we have created by again being our self-limiting belief. Enrollment allows us to get present to what we are pretending about the experience and what we are hiding. The pretense is always about another person, place or thing and with it there is the experience of some sort of sense of threat and blame. The story from pretense has something to do with the other person, situation or circumstance causing us to feel a certain way. Enrollment technology allows us to get that we created the pretense, the story, and furthermore what the experience is truly all about. Becoming present to what is hidden from us in the experience allows us to again make the distinction of our self-limiting belief and that which is truly creating the experience. It is our self-limiting belief that actually creates the breakdown due to the individual’s sense of inadequacy with respect to the situation, circumstance or interactions with another. Once we become present to that which is creating the inauthenticity we are able to give it up through enrollment and again reinvent ourselves through the creation or even regeneration of our possibilities. Once a person does enrollment with himself the inauthenticity he created disappears and with it the individual’s power, freedom and full self-expression is once again restored.

The creation of possibilities will begin a process of bringing forth action. The individual who takes on creating possibilities for himself and his life will become very motivated to do and be differently in life. With the creation of possibilities the person will experience a renewed sense of power, freedom and self-expression. However, it is in this breakthrough of creating possibilities that the person will eventually experience breakdowns in the various domains of his life especially when he begins to live life on life’s terms. When the individual returns to his community, to life as it was before the recovery process started, there will be a tendency to experience breakdowns. When one returns to his community there will exist a discrepancy of how he was being before his transformation began and how he is being now from possibilities. When one returns to his community there will also be a tendency to return to familiar ways of being and dealing with the circumstances and situations of life and even other people. It is within his return that the technology of enrollment will be crucial to his continued transformation and recovery. The use of enrollment will allow the person to get how he is actually creating the breakdown himself, to get how he is creating a story about the situation, circumstance or others and most importantly the source of this creation, his self-limiting belief. The self-limiting belief generates the context from which the world occurs for us. Knowing that he is creating this experience from the background of his self-limiting belief will give him the power to choose, the power to return to being his possibilities thereby allowing him to experience the circumstance, situation or another in a manner that is in alignment with or from his possibilities.

The Daily Plan is the fourth component in the utilization of the technology of Transformational Counseling. Transformational Counseling is not merely about understanding the power of our thoughts but ultimately about action. We live in a world of action and for us to make a difference in our life as well as in that of another we must ultimately create through action. The Daily Plan allows one the opportunity to begin to create their life anew by assisting them in monitoring their day-to-day activities and behavior. As our possibilities will call forth action, the Daily Plan allows one the opportunity to begin to create their life differently by planning what they will specifically take on or do to create or bring forth their chosen possibilities in their lives. The Daily Plan is about making a commitment to oneself to fulfill on their intentions, to fulfill on being their possibilities. One of the fundamental elements of this structure is how will an individual measurably bring forth his possibilities into his life, how will he go about practically creating them for myself and in the world. The Daily Plan also allows one the opportunity to stay present to his self-limiting belief as it arises in the act of fulfilling on his Daily Plan. Having a breakthrough with the creation of possibilities and especially with their implementation in life will eventually create a breakdown too. With the use of a Daily Plan the person will have the opportunity to become present to what is stopping him and as a result get back into generating his possibilities through enrollment and as a result continue to create from the present.

While the use of the Daily Plan will support and assist the individual in his transformation and recovery, there will also be a tendency to not complete it on a consistent basis. The use of the Daily Plan is antithetical to the existence of the self-limiting belief, with the way of being the individual is very familiar with. In addition to assisting the individual in creating the life that he wants and to be able to distinguish his self-limiting belief as it reappears, the Daily Plan is also about ones commitment and integrity both to himself and others. When the individual develops or creates his Daily Plan he will be making a commitment to himself and others, to what he says that he wants to create in his life. Once the individual’s plans for his transformation and recovery are made real by committing them to written form in his Daily Plan, it will become an issue of integrity, of doing what he said he would do, of doing complete work with whatever he does and of doing what he does as it was meant to be done. It is only be staying in integrity and fulfilling on his commitments to himself and others that he will be able to live into his possibilities, to transform his life. The individual will either be his self-limiting belief or his possibilities and it is through his integrity that he will have the opportunity to become present to his commitment or intension in life. The Daily Plan is a powerful technique that will effectively assist one in his transformation and recovery.

The Conversation is the fifth component of Transformational Counseling and is about enrollment and the self-limiting belief reappearing in ones commitments to his Daily Plan. While identified as the fifth component of this process, the Conversation actually begins when one is introduced to the work of transformation. It will always be a question of whether or not one will stay in the Conversation to continue to do the work of transformation after enrollment has taken place. However, the Conversation is about communicating with another through the enrollment process. It is in the Conversation that we have the opportunity to begin and continue utilizing the technology of Transformational Counseling. There will always be breakdowns in life even as we utilize the work of transformation. When we once again experience a loss of power, freedom and self-expression our past has reappeared again in our life and with it a breakdown. Staying in the Conversation with another person within transformation will give us the opportunity to become present to the inauthentic way of being that we have recreated and also to create the space for us to experience another breakthrough. It is only in a Conversation with another where we get the stories that we invent in the pretense about others, situations and circumstances that we will have an opportunity to also get present to that which is hidden from our view, the context, that which is truly creating our breakdown experience. That which is hidden is always from our past and has to do in some manner with our self-limiting belief. Furthermore, it is only from this distinction that a clearing will be caused to live in possibility again. The Conversation is about enrollment, enrolling ourselves and assisting others through enrollment. It is only in communication with another that we can continue to be and live into our possibilities and with it stay in the work of transformation with another and ourselves.

As alluded to above, there will be a tendency to want to leave the Conversation especially when one has first gotten or been introduced to the technology of transformation and Transformational Counseling. The initial experience of power, freedom and full self expression is very enrolling and with this feeling of being touched, moved and inspired by our possibilities one may create a belief that no future work is really necessary. However, the technology of transformation is not something that you simply get but something that is constantly gotten. When not in communication with others inside the Conversation of transformation there will be a tendency to stop doing the work and go back to what is familiar and especially to the familiar ways that we attempted to resolve breakdowns. It is the familiar that is within the world of the self-limiting belief. As mentioned above, the self-limiting does not go away, it is there throughout our life. While the self-limiting belief will reappear in our life through a breakdown, staying in the Conversation with another will assist us in distinguishing the inauthenticity that we create and once again empower us to get back into or create new possibilities for ourselves. Continuing the work of transformation by staying in the Conversation with others is not familiar and in many respects unreasonable. However, staying in the Conversation is crucial to our continued transformation as a human being living in the world and to the recovery process too.

I am currently the Director of Outpatient Services at the Holistic Addiction Treatment Program in North Miami Beach, Florida. In working with people entering recovery in both the inpatient and outpatient programs it has been my experience that one of the first behaviors that will appear for the individual entering a relapse mode is when he takes himself out of the Conversation. This process of taking oneself out of the Conversation applies to whether one is attending transformational oriented group sessions or attending daily AA or NA meetings for those the 12 Step Program in recovery. When the person stops seeking and having human contact with people assisting him in his recovery, when one drops out of communication with other human beings who are helping him to transform his life, there will be a tendency to go back to that which is familiar for dealing with breakdowns. For those in recovery one of the familiar ways of attempting to fix a breakdown is to self-medicate with either alcohol or drugs or both. When the individual cuts himself off from the very process of his transformation and recovery, cuts himself off from communicating with another human being about what he is experiencing, the relapse process has begun for that person. The individual is once again unable to get how he is creating the breakdown and how to transform it.

Staying present to the existence of his self-limiting belief, generating his possibilities through his Daily Plan and processing breakdowns with others through enrollment does create the space for the individual to transform his life, be enrolled into the 12 Step Program and be successful in recovery. Much of why this technology is not utilized in the recovery field or even in the mental health arena is that most counselors are not even aware of its existence. For example, most counselors are not aware or present to the concept of a self-limiting belief let alone how it will, if not distinguished, continue to create a barrier or constraint for another. Most counselors are not even aware of the actual power of our thinking, of how we actually create our experiences, thoughts, feeling and behavior. Unfortunately, this lack of awareness as to how we create the occurring world leaves most counselors being able to only focus on that which is external to the client, that is, situations, circumstances and other people and their behavior. When we focus on that which is external to the client and engage in a discussion about situation, circumstance or another we run the risk of not generating the space for the client to get how he actually created or is continuing to create his experiences. When we are unable to assist a client in discovering how he actually created his situation, circumstance or relationship to another through his thinking and thoughts we run the risk of having the client assume little if any responsibility for his life, reinforcing or supporting a state of total disempowerment and leaving the probable almost certain future for the client.

Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC
http://www.enhancedhealing.com

Are You Chasing the Elusive Butterfly of Happiness?

For many people happiness is an elusive butterfly in the garden of life. Imagine a young child in the garden on a summer day. The child sees a beautiful butterfly flitting from flower to flower. With eyes of wonder the child wants to see it close up, touch it, and hold it in their hands. The child goes towards the flower that the butterfly is resting on, with arms out stretched, only to find as he just gets in reach, the butterfly moves to another flower. Undeterred the child follows the butterfly to the next flower, and then the next, but the butterfly always stays just out of reach.

As adults, happiness can seem just like that butterfly, always just out of reach. It becomes almost an obsession and the words “if only…” become an increasingly large part of our thoughts and vocabulary. If only I had more money I would be happy, if only I was in a great relationship I would be happy, if only I could have a different job……….and the list goes on. Even if we achieve one of our “if only “desires, the happiness we seek is still just out of our reach. The truth of the saying “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” becomes our focus and perception. If this becomes our focus, we find that dissatisfaction and unhappiness increasingly keep growing in our life and experience.

The unhappiness within us can not be completely satisfied by external events or circumstances. To find happiness in life we must first be at peace with ourselves internally. External events and circumstances can bring us happiness in the moment, but they do not have a lasting effect on our inner self. Life experience brings a mixture of good and bad circumstances to everyone. To rely on life’s experiences for our source of happiness would mean living life in a constant emotional roller coaster ride.

Happiness comes from within. The inner contentment that survives the roller coaster ride of life has its roots deep within our being. The source of happiness comes from finding and embracing who we are as a person, and living a life of purpose. We need to find peace in every aspect of our life- the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. To discover acceptance, purpose and peace in all of these areas will give a sense of completion in life. If we neglect any one of these areas, we experience a sense of emptiness and feel something is missing. There is not a solid foundation for building happiness within, but we then, typically start to try to fill this incompleteness by looking for outside solutions. That is the point when we can fall into the ‘elusive butterfly’ syndrome, and experience such frustration.

Is happiness an elusive butterfly for you? Spend some time in quiet reflection. Are you neglecting one of the four important parts of who you are and experiencing a sense of emptiness within? The more you discover, embrace and accept your uniqueness and purpose, the more you will experience the butterfly of happiness alighting on your shoulder.