How to Set Intentions that Energize You
We’ve all heard how crucial it is to set intentions, goals and targets.
Powerful goals electrify us. Clear intentions energize and pull us forward.
Without a clearcut intention, we’re reactive and don’t get around to doing the important things when we want them done. Instead, we spend our time fighting random fires.
Without clear intentions, anything might happen. And usually does.
Literally, intentions are like the steering wheel on your car. Their whole purpose is to give you control over where you’re going. But when setting intentions or goals, keep in mind that if you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.
Now, it’s good to have intentions at more than one level. When we get up into the more conceptual intentions, such as “I will contribute to the wellbeing of those around me,” these become like a mission statement.
But then, be sure you move on to decide specifically how you will go about implementing your mission in your daily life. Specifics are essential.
How — specifically — will you put your mission into action today? What will you actually DO about your highest intentions?
It’s important to set intentions for yourself because this is where the rubber meets the road.
Just say “I’m going to do this and this.” It should be nothing big and overpowering. Just some stuff you’re meaning to do or achieve short-term.
Be sure to write them down on paper. When you list them out, you can clearly look over your results afterward and check yourself.
At the end of today or this time next week, did you do what you said you’d do? Expressed like that, it’s clear that we’re building a kind of internal integrity check within ourselves.
When you’re first starting to build this new intention-setting skill (habit), it’s important not to pile on too much. Sure, it’s easy to get all excited about turning over a new leaf, but it’s essential that you start where you are NOW, not where you think you SHOULD be.
There are things that, from experience, you already know you can do. Set your intentions to do those things (plus perhaps a little bit more) and achieve them. Then, when you’re comfortable doing what you say you’ll do, then you can begin to stretch your intention muscles a little more.
But as in any new regimin, begin easy. Begin with what you can actually do. And only after you get comfortable with the intention-setting process should you start going for real growth. Patience – taking small, measured steps – is more than a virtue here. It’s the key to keeping yourself moving forward. (Notice I said patience, not procrastination.)
Attempt too much too soon, and the end result will be another round of demotivation and discouragement.
Instead, go about this logically and gradually: keep your eye on the level you want to reach next year, and let today’s effort take you 1/365th of the way there. Do this, and you’ll see real, measurable progress as well as achievements you’ll truly be proud of.
It’s all pretty simple stuff, really. Just training yourself to keep your word to yourself.
5 Reasons To Not Let Depression Control You Anymore!
Family – It can be very vexing to loved one’s when you are depressed. On one hand they want nothing but the best for you, but on the other they sometimes get frustrated and wonder why you can’t simply snap out of it. It can be particularly hard on children of someone with depression as it may affect their outlook on life for many years to come. Having experienced this myself, I can say definitely this the number one reason to fight your depression.
Work – Work life generally suffers when in the throws of depression. It is more difficult to concentrate and not as easy to create and maintain good professional working relationships and partnerships. Furthermore, it makes being a “Self-starter” more unlikely. Rather than moving forward, maintaining the status-quo becomes more acceptable, even if only unconsciously.
Love – The love life of a person with depression can suffer tremendously. Regardless of How much someone may profess their dedication to another person, if the other person can never see the bright side, it can wear on them. Life is short, right? Love conquers A WHOLE LOT, but it doesn’t conquer everything. Sometimes we must add internal fortitude to love to truly be invincible. Besides isn’t it better to fight, not just for you, but for this person that you love as well?
Health – University studies have proven that people who are depressed are more likely to get sick, and more likely to die of an illness than those who are content. It is in your benefit, health wise, to fight your depression as well. A recent New York Times article, citing a University study, indicated that persons who have been diagnosed as depressed have more hospital visits, and a shorter lifespan.
Prosperity – The depressed person sometimes lacks clarity of thought, and may miss golden opportunities to improve their lives if only they had been paying attention. This may be, perhaps, the most important point, since many people believe they would be happier if only this part of their life, or that part of their life, etc was different. Allowing good things to happen in your life might just give you the jump start needed to end the cycle of depression and self imposed-isolation( even if only figuratively ).
Fighting depression can help your life in many ways. In some ways, the fight in itself is also a reward. You become stronger, do better at work, have better relationships, and can focus on what is really important in life so that you can improve it, for yourself, your family, friends, and loved ones.
About Depression
Depression is often described as a psychological disease. There are several types of depression, ranging from mild to severe. It’s hard to identify factors that cause depression. However there have been many studies done to try and understand the underlying causes of depression to help prevent it. Moreover, more studies have been performed on what type of medical assistance helps to treat depression best.
The most noticeable symptom of depression is feeling sad for a long period of time. This involves feeling sad for at least two weeks. However, with most depressed people, this symptom lasts for much longer. This symptom in itself brings on many other conditions; for example, feeling sad may trigger suicidal thoughts.
Generally, two types of suicidal people have been identified: those who are serious about it and those who want attention. This is not to say one type is more severe than the other – both require attention and care by close relatives, friends and professionals. In the beginning, most people with depression are not serious about it, but suicidal thoughts are triggered by their long depression period. They may show this through reading many books and other materials on the subject of suicide. They may start talking about it more often in daily conversation. These are all signs that they are thinking of suicide and want some help. In fact, it’s very important to talk to them about it, even casually, to show them that you have interest in their lives.
Contrast this with the most serious suicidal people – these people do not talk or mention their suicidal tendencies because they’d like to act on them and they want no one to ruin their plan. These people can be helped too. They require more attention, especially more medical and professional attention. Simply talking to them about suicide may not help.
Depression has many other symptoms that vary from person to person. Some people may lose their appetite or gain more appetite. They may lose or gain weight unexpectedly. They may start forming different habits – like listening to different music or gaining new friends. Of course, this isn’t a sure sign of a depression, but when many of these elements are combined they may be warning signs.
Depression may have different causes for different people. Some major reasons for depression have been identified, like social isolation, substance abuse, stress, a death in the family and disability. When more than one symptom occurs at the same time, the risk of depression is higher.
When trying to help others with their depression, be very empathetic. They may need more attention and support, but they don’t need anyone telling them how to feel and that life is rosy. Everyone can escape depression given the right conditions.
Thinking Outside The Box – The How To
When innovators talk about thinking outside the box, they mean coming up with creative ways to solve problems – new ways to look at things. How do they do it? How can you do it too? We first have to ask what the “box” is. Then we can look at how to get outside of it.
The “box” is the normal way of doing things and looking at things. It is the assumptions that almost everyone involved is making. The best way to start thinking out of the box then, is to identify and challenge all the assumptions that make up thinking inside the box.
One of the major liquor brands was faltering years ago, and they couldn’t seem to boost their sales. Promotions, lowering the price, getting better shelf placement – these were the “in the box” solutions. Then someone challenged the assumptions, by asking “What if we stopped the promotions and just raised the price?”
The price was raised as an experiment, and sales soon doubled. As it turns out, some types of liquor are bought quite often as gifts. Buyers don’t want to buy the most expensive one, but they also don’t want to seem cheap, so they won’t buy products that don’t cost enough. Now imagine what happens to your profit margins when you raise the price and double the sales. That’s the power of thinking outside of the box.
Ways To Get Outside The Box
Challenging assumptions is a powerful creative problem solving technique. The difficult part is to identify the assumptions. If you are designing a new motorcycle, write down assumptions like “speed matters,” “it has to run on gas” and “it needs two wheels,” not because you expect to prove these wrong, but because challenging these can lead to creative possibilities. Maybe the time has come for an electric three-wheeled motorcycle.
Another way to get to creative solutions is to “assume the absurd.” This is either fun or annoying, depending on how open-minded you can be. All you do is start making absurd assumptions, then finding ways to make sense of them. The easiest way to do it is by asking “what if.”
What if a carpet cleaning business was better off with half as many customers? It seems absurd, but work with it. Hmm…less stressful, perhaps. More profitable if each customer was worth three times as much. Is that possible? Commercial jobs that involve large easy-to-clean spaces (theaters, offices, convention halls) make more money in a day than houses, with fewer headaches. Focusing on getting those accounts could be the most profitable way to go – not so absurd.
Another way to more innovative ideas is to literally do your thinking out of the box. Get out of the house or the office. Look around at how others are doing things. On busses in Ecuador, salesmen put a product into everyones hands and let them hold it while they do a sales pitch. Then you have to give back “your” product or pay for it. It is very effective. How could you use the principle in your business?
Create Your Path to Success
Creating your path to success depends on walking on a firm foundation. Knowing WHAT you want is only the beginning. Visualizing what you want and repeating affirmations makes your intentions stronger. Yet, this is not enough. So what IS the secret to realizing your goals? Let’s walk the path together. As we walk the path step by step, I encourage you to write the answers to these questions:
Step 1: Where are you now? What are your strengths, resources, and areas of improvement?
Step 2: What do you want to achieve? What is important to you? Money? Relationships? Having fun? Creating a vibrant body? …Use your imagination to explore. List everything you want without editing.
Step 3: What do you REALLY want? What lights you up and gets you excited? What is your heart’s desire?
Step 4: Now explore the risks, obstacles, or challenges that could interfere with achieving these goals. Notice what is stopping you from having what you want now. This is the most powerful question to answer because it is how you sabotage yourself from success. By recognizing the challenges, obstacles or risks and addressing them in your Action Plan, you manage your productive tension to focus on your desired outcome.
What’s Stopping You?
Feelings of unworthiness?
Self-sabotaging mind talk?
Do you dress for success?
How is your love life? Do you regularly express your love to the significant relationships in your life?
Release negative people from your life
Release self pity – Focus on gratitude instead. Make list of what is good in your life.
Attitude – are you usually upbeat?
Health: attitude, energy, mental clarity, and overall well-being are all linked to good health. Health is supported by
Exercise: Pleasurable forms can include weight lifting, dance, belly dance, Tango, golf, tennis, jogging, walking, cycling, yoga, and many other forms.
Diet: Well balanced diet is best. Studies have shown that excessive protein creates health risks/issues.
Medical exams: Regular checkups help you know where you stand and how to get back on track if necessary.
Spiritual Life: Your spiritual life builds your foundation.
Complacency or “Golden Handcuffs” – When we get too comfortable, we can set ourselves up to fail. If you are at the top, keep your edge and passion by giving yourself new challenges.
Do you have the passion to win or achieve a goal?
Step 5: Select your favorite goals and write an affirmation for each following this format:
I have/am/achieve specific goal stated in present tense by specific deadline.
State your goals in specific, measurable terms so you can recognize their achievement. Avoid the use of the words “try, not, don’t, can’t, shouldn’t…” The mind does not hear the “not” and cannot produce results with “try”. An example of an affirmation is “I achieve my monthly financial goal of $$$ easily by the 28th of every month.” Another example of an affirmation is, “This is my LUCKY day!”
Step 6: Imagine yourself already having your goals accomplished. What do you see? What do you hear? What do you feel? What do you smell? What do you taste? Let yourself BE there now!
Step 7: Create an Action Plan to achieve your desired results. Be specific about every step required. The goals need to be compelling to be achievable.
Step 8: Reinforce your goals daily. Create a vision map with YOU in the picture and place it where you can see it daily. Record your affirmations in your voice and listen to them daily. Repeat your affirmations morning and night. Focus on what you desire.
Step 9: Be Accountable. Find a coach who you will allow to hold you accountable in a supportive way. Ultimately, accountability is the key to success. A coach supports you by inspiring pride and self-discipline. For best results, the coach is someone who has no attachment to the outcome. The coach walks the path with you — but not for you.
Ultimately, your success depends on your ability to monitor and manage your level of productive tension.
Emotional Dependency or Emotional Responsibility
Emotional dependency means getting one’s good feelings from outside oneself. It means needing to get filled from outside rather than from within. Who or what do you believe is responsible for your emotional wellbeing?
There are numerous forms of emotional dependency:
* Dependence on substances, such as food, drugs, or alcohol, to fill emptiness and take away pain.
* Dependency on processes such as spending, gambling, or TV, also to fill emptiness and take away pain.
* Dependence on money to define one’s worth and adequacy.
* Dependence on getting someone’s love, approval, or attention to feel worthy, adequate, lovable, and safe.
* Dependence on sex to fill emptiness and feel adequate.
When you do not take responsibility for defining your own adequacy and worth or for creating your own inner sense of safety, you will seek to feel adequate, worthy and safe externally. Whatever you do not give to yourself, you may seek from others or from substances or processes. Emotional dependency is the opposite of taking personal responsibility for one’s emotional wellbeing. Yet many people have no idea that this is their responsibility, nor do they have any idea how to take this responsibility.
What does it mean to take emotional responsibility rather than be emotionally dependent?
Primarily, it means recognizing that our feelings come from our own thoughts, beliefs and behavior, rather than from others or from circumstances. Once you understand and accept that you create your own feelings, rather than your feelings coming from outside yourself, then you can begin to take emotional responsibility.
For example, let’s say someone you care about gets angry at you.
If you are emotionally dependent, you may feel rejected and believe that your feelings of rejection are coming from the other’s anger. You might also feel hurt, scared, anxious, inadequate, shamed, angry, blaming, or many other difficult feeling in response to the other’s anger. You might try many ways of getting the other person to not be angry in an effort to feel better.
However, if you are emotionally responsible, you will feel and respond entirely differently. The first thing you might do is to tell yourself that another person’s anger has nothing to do with you. Perhaps that person is having a bad day and is taking it out on you. Perhaps that person is feeling hurt or inadequate and is trying to be one-up by putting you one-down. Whatever the reason for the other’s anger, it is about them rather than about you. An emotionally responsible person does not take others’ behavior personally, knowing that we have no control over others’ feelings and behavior, and that we do not cause others to feel and behave the way they do – that others are responsible for their feelings and behavior just as we are for ours.
The next thing an emotionally responsible person might do is move into compassion for the angry person, and open to learning about what is going on with the other person. For example, you might say, “I don’t like your anger, but I am willing to understand what is upsetting you. Would you like to talk about it?” If the person refuses to stop being angry, or if you know ahead of time that this person is not going to open up, then as an emotionally responsible person, you would take loving action in your own behalf. For example, you might say, “I’m unwilling to be at the other end of your anger. When you are ready to be open with me, let me know. Meanwhile, I’m going to take a walk (or hang up the phone, or leave the restaurant, or go into the other room, and so on). An emotionally responsible person gets out of range of attack rather than tries to change the other person.
Once out of range, the emotionally responsible person goes inside and explores any painful feelings that might have resulted from the attack. For example, perhaps you are feeling lonely as a result of being attacked. An emotionally responsible person embraces the feelings of loneliness with understanding and compassion, holding them just as you would hold a sad child. When you acknowledge and embrace the feelings of loneliness, you allow them to move through you quickly, so you can move back into peace.
Rather than being a victim of the other’s behavior, you have taken emotional responsibility for yourself. Instead of staying stuck in feeling angry, hurt, blaming, afraid, anxious or inadequate, you have moved yourself back into feeling safe and peaceful.
When you realize that your feelings are your responsibility, you can move out of emotional dependency. This will make a huge difference within you and with all of your relationships. Relationships thrive when each person moves out of emotional dependency and into emotional responsibility.
You Get What You Ask For
In life we get what we ask for.
Now you surely say that it isn’t true. You say you ask for freedom and happiness and all you got was feeling imprisoned and bad.
Let’s have a closer look to how creation works and how our subconscious mind works. Because it’s the same.
Everything that exists is created in someone’s mind. Everything starts with a thought. A thought is an energy. Energy wants to manifest itself. A lot of thoughts in the same direction will, that’s for sure, manifest in the real world.
This is the process of creation.
We are created by the same process. We use this process of creation all the time,
without knowing it.
When we are not conscious, then we are like most people and use this power to create a negative life. We have negative thoughts and get negative results.
Once we learn how to think positive thoughts, we will get positive results in our life.
How come? Our subconscious mind is like the earth. It does not interfere with what we sow. Earth does not say :”Nja I have enough of these carottes, it’s every time the same thing, I will make potatoes of it!” Earth does not say : “Bah I don’t like red flowers, I will turn the red into blue for these roses!” Earth does not interfere. Earth is patient, works in silence and gives us exactly what we put in it. And we KNOW that! We know we will get exactly what we put in the earth. When we put yellow flowers in it, we don’t expect them to be red when they blossom. When we sow roses in the garden we don’t expect onions to come out in spring!
And yet that’s how we react in real life. We sow onions and expect roses. We sow negative thoughts in our mind (onions) and expect good things (roses) to come out! We fool ourselves! And we blame others. We look for who can possibly be the fault of that (usually we blame the parents or the husband/wife for what goes wrong in our life). And then we cry and say we don’t have any luck in our lives. We look at the neighbour and think he’s lucky because he has roses in his garden, and we wonder what we did to the world to deserve only onions in our garden!
When the mainstream of your thoughts is negative, let’s say for 85 %, than the outcome will be negative for 85%. Your thoughts fall into your subconscious mind, which executes exactly what you put in it. It is like the earth. It is like a computer. When you type in your computer : “I am stupid, I am fat, I am ugly, nobody loves me”, are you angry with your printer when the paper comes out that says “I am stupid, I am fat, I am ugly, nobody loves me”? Do you throw a shoe at your computer and do you yell at him that he is the fault of everything that’s going wrong? No, because you know you put that information in it and your computer does not interfere. The output matches exactly the input.
So works our subconscious mind. If you don’t like the output, change the input. You get exactly what you ask for = what you think of the whole day. Don’t be angry with your life. You are not angry with the onions, are you? You are not angry with your computer, are you? Instead of being angry, learn how it works and learn to get positive results in your life. Start thinking positive thoughts. Think only thoughts you wish to see happen in real life. Think only what you want to become true. And wait for a while, be patient. One day you will harvest what you sew, like you know earth will give you back what you put in it. It is never lost. Just wait and see.
2006 Is Already Setting Up To Fail
It’s only a couple of weeks into the New Year and all those goals and resolutions you wanted for yourself are already slipping away. One of two things is happening: Either you simply never got started, or you’re running out of steam.
Not getting started is common. Even with all the great enthusiasm and excitement we had about the year, the diversion of the holidays and then just trying to get back into our normal routines didn’t allow us to incorporate our new goals into our old schedules. The goals we initially set now seem too difficult to know where to start. Simply put, we are busy and distracted by the overall tasks of our lives. Don’t worry. There is always “tomorrow” or next year.
The other common element to resolution failure is burn out. It is comically predictable, but have you ever noticed the level of activity the first week of January? Go to any gym and you will see it packed. In fact, January 1st and 2nd are two of the busiest days in gym attendance. Weight loss groups, dating sites, financial planners, career advisors, and support groups all report high activity the first week of January.
Everyone wants to get in shape, lose weight, meet someone, get a better job, save money, quit smoking, quit drinking and more. So we start out the year no holds barred and go for it! Unfortunately the results we want don’t come as fast as our initial enthusiasm and when we don’t see quick changes we lose our motivation. As the weeks go by the crowds disappear and soon everything is back to normal activity levels as we all slip back into our routines. Then we stay there until another failed attempt next January. The result is that 2006 will be yet another year you failed to achieve the changes you wanted.
The New Year motivates us to start, but we need to develop a habit of successful behavior. As Jim Ryan put it, “Motivation is what gets us started. Habit is what keeps us going.”
You can develop success habits and remedy lack of or diminished motivation with a life coach technique called “ABC.”
A = Action. Start taking action today. We don’t achieve change through thinking about it, but by doing something.
B = Bite size. Reduce all your new activities to small daily actions. It truly is amazing how doing something small doesn’t overwhelm us and produces amazing results. When we take on too much we either don’t start or can’t keep it up. Work out 10 minutes a day; send out one resume a day, save a little money every day and the results will materialize over time.
C = Consistency. Through the accumulation of small actions, we get big results. Do your bite size action activities daily!
We all want big changes, but literally think about the change in your pocket. We have all taken our daily change and placed it in a container of some sort. Before long, that pile of nickels and dimes had grown to several dollars. If you want to produce real changes, concentrate on the ABC Success Habits. Get into action today with small bite size activities consistently and before you know it, you’ll be going to the bank at the end of 2006 with a sizable deposit of results.
Anything that’s worth doing, is worth doing Poorly
Yes you got it. You read it correctly. We’re not out of our minds. We really are saying that “anything that’s worth doing is worth doing poorly”. When we found this quote by Joachim DePosada on the web site: The Gary Halbert Letter, it struck such a huge cord. It made such immediate sense to us. The more we looked the more we realised that our lives were built around this quote. What about yours?
Just take your mind back to when you started to learn to drive. That very first time, you pressed your foot down on the throttle. The engine screamed. You lifted your left foot off the clutch with such panache, and you hurled forward with such velocity, you would have beaten any kangaroo.
Can you drive now? Then we rest our case:
Anything that’s worth doing, is worth doing poorly.
Do you remember the first time you played tennis? Did you really get the serve right first time? Or did you carefully throw the ball in the air throw the racket and miss!!! What about now? Was it worth doing it poorly the first time around?
What happened the first time you strode up with your bucket of balls on the driving range? You put the ball down and swung perfectly and hit it for what 500 yards?????? Or, did you:
1. miss it completely,
2. follow through and fall over
3. take out a good portion of the matting or grass with the shot
4. hit it with such force it managed a few yards and stopped.
What is all this about?
Reminding yourself that;
Whenever you do something you haven’t done before.
Whenever, you make effort to break an old habit.
Whenever you are going to do something that is worth doing.
The odds are you are going to make a hash of it. Don’t give in. You are normal. Don’t listen to that critical voice inside your head that says, “It’s no good. I can’t do it. I will never, ever try again”.
Listen instead to the powerful, self confirming voice that says,
“It’s OK. Remember. Anything that’s worth doing, is worth doing poorly”
And laugh and keep going.
So, whether your aim is to give up smoking… diet….. stop drinking……..change your job, learn a language, build a business, whatever it is, accept that you are going to do it poorly at first. Then gradually with practice you will get better and better.
It takes effort to improve yourself. It takes effort to become the best sales person in town. It takes effort to build a successful business. It takes effort to lose weight. It takes effort to follow your dream.
But. If you want to improve yourself! ……..If you want to learn a new skill…….. There is only one way to start………..Overcome your need to be right first time and keep practicing.
So whatever you want to do. Whatever you dream of being! Whatever you see yourself doing in five years time. It all starts with making a fool of yourself now. So you might as well get on with it. Go on, go for your dream!
Remember:
Anything that’s worth doing, is worth doing poorly.
Good luck
Graham and Julie.
www.desktop-meditation.com
